


Feelings, Anxiety, and a lot of Slushies

by Starry_fics



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: A lot of the characters are barely mentioned the first chapter, Angst, Boyfriends, But also, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, He is a deep Character, Hurt/Comfort, I AM SORRY, I Tried, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I also dont wanna offend anyone, I am hella white, I don't care if George is taller than will, I don't wanna get this wrong, I hurt my boy, I love writing michaels moms, I only know english, I swear it'll be fluffer, I swear they will come up, I will fight yall on this, I'm Going to Hell, I'm Sorry, If i get a work wrong, Jeremy angst, Jeremy has anxiety, Jeremy is very bi, Jeremy needs depth, Like hella bad anxiety, Low key me self projecting, M/M, Michael has two moms, Michael is shorter damnit, Michael swears when he's stressed out, Minor Trigger Warning, Mutual Pining, Pining, Pining Michael, Please correct me, Post-Squip, Rated T for swearing, Slow Burn, So much Jeremy Angst, Squip causes shit, Squip is mentioned, Tbh I don't blame him, The Squip is a bitch, also, and ASL, and I am using some Filipino taglog, and the fandom ignores him, angst fest, boyfs, bro rich, bro rich gives me l i f e, but - Freeform, but jeremy is oblivious to it, he just really likes Michael, i am jeremy and self projection, i s s h o r t e r, j e r e m y h e e r e, m i c h a e l m e l l, mentions of panic attack, mostly because, okay I should probably point out that, okay back to, or miss spell it, or miss use it, pining Jeremy, please, sm, so I'm giving my boy the spotlight, so please correct me, t h an, they tease him abt jer, this is all over the place, with angst, your regularly scheduled tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2018-12-15 03:03:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11797059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starry_fics/pseuds/Starry_fics
Summary: Jeremy Heere has been anxious all his life, and he can't exactly control it. What happens when you add a half-destroyed squip and a big ass gay crush on his best friend to the mix?-or: Me giving Jeremy the spotlight because damn it he deserves itREALLY SLOW UPDATED RN SORRYYY





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Me: I should finish the epilogue of that one book.  
> Me to me: But Pining!Jeremy  
> Me: mm tru
> 
> Alrightly! Here, have this angst filled chapter because self-projection

Jeremy wasn’t sure how it started if he was being honest, it was suddenly there, an unstoppable force that had hit him hard, and he couldn’t get rid of it no matter how hard he tried. No matter how many times he told himself that  _ no, this isn’t okay _ , nothing changed at all, and he still felt the same. It was aggravating really, the consistency of it, the fact that no matter how hard he wanted to hate it, it felt kinda nice and warm in his chest. God, he hated how much he loved the feeling. It was kinda like a warm blanket after a cold day, the feeling of hot tea going down your throat, the crackling of a warm fire after a long day in the snow, it felt warm and happy, and absolutely amazing, and Jeremy found this  _ incredibly _ unfair. For such a cruel force, it shouldn’t feel this nice. If it was painful, if it felt like getting your tongue burnt or getting pricked by a cactus, that would make it more bearable, in Jeremy’s opinion. He heaved a long, tired sigh, he wished this were easier.

 

“Her, Jer? You okay,” Michael questioned him, concern and something else swimming in deep brown eyes. Jeremy looked down at his best friend, sitting there with a 7/11 slurpee in his hand, his signature red hoodie with all his patches, his slightly unruly hair from where he has run his hands through it, and Jeremy smiled slightly.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine, just lost in thought and stuff,” Jeremy shrugged, not really able to explain his problem. Michael’s eyes lingered on him for a few extra seconds, searching his face, but finally decided that Jeremy was telling the truth and turned back to the large group at the table. Jeremy mentally sighed as he looked down at the shorter boy again because  _ this _ was his problem. It was short, a little chubby (In a good way), warm, kind, funny, has an award winning smile, soft Filipino skin, and always wears a red sweatshirt. His problem was very  _ Michael _ shaped, and it drove him absolutely insane. He had always been told that he was bad at hiding his feelings from other people, that everyone knew that something was different, so why didn’t they notice now?  It was a mystery that would probably never be solved because Jeremy definitely  _ not _ going to talk to someone about this. Too much risk in that. Jeremy tried to direct his brain away from his problems and back to where Christine was talking.

 

“- amazing if it works with everyone’s schedules. Is everyone free that night,” Christine looked around the table expectantly, a wide smile on her lips. There were some murmurs around the table that, yes, everyone was free that night. Jeremy still had no clue what was going on but Michael, bless him, saved his ass once again.

 

“Jer and I are free to come too. Almost always are on Friday nights.” Jeremy flashed his friend a grateful smile, and got an amused eye roll in return along with a ‘you’re welcome, you dork’. Christine pumped her fist in the air, an excited smile on her face as she looked at their large group of friends. 

 

“Awesome!  We can do it this Friday then! You all know where my house is, right?” Everyone nodded or murmured a small yes, but Michael sat quietly. Jeremy leaned into his friend and whispered ‘I’ll give you directions’, and now it was Michael’s turn to give Jeremy a grateful smile. Jeremy’s stomach did that flippy thing once again that he hates  _ so _ much and he kinda just wants to die in that moment because he’s pretty sure his face shows all the emotions that are running through his head. Why were emotions so hard and confusing dear God. Michael looked like he was going to say something, but then the school bell was ringing and there was a sudden burst of movement around them. Michael sighed quietly and shot Jeremy a half smile before getting up himself and following Jake and Jenna to English class.

 

“Bye, Jer, see you after class,” He called before catching up to their friends. Jeremy gave a silent wave in return and followed Christine to drama class. They walked in a comfortable silence for a while which was definitely strange for Christine, but Jeremy also knew that it probably wasn’t a good idea to pry. If Christine wanted to talk about it she would probably ask herself. Not after long, Jeremy was proven right, because Christine looked up at him and started talking

 

“”Are you… are you okay? You were spacing out at lunch today, like no one could get your attention except for Michael. No one wanted to point it out, but like I’m kinda worried. Did something happen? Shit, is  _ it _ back?” Christine’s eyes were wide and fearful, making him feel guilty. He had made his friends worried because he was spacing out thinking about his feelings for his best friend.

 

“No, no it’s not back. Well, technically it's  _ always _ back, but uh, it has no real power. Nothing happened, i’m fine. I just uh,” Jeremy debated telling Christine, “I’ve got something on my mind. It’s fine though, I’m sure it’ll blow over.” That was a blatant lie on Jeremy’s part, he knew for a fact it wouldn’t blow over. Knowing him, it would probably only get worse every time he saw Michael. Which was a lot. Christine raised an eyebrow at him.

 

“Jeremy, if it’s bothering you that much you could just, I dunno, talk about it?” Jeremy bit his lip in question. He  _ could _ tell Christine, he knew he could trust her, but he was also slightly afraid to would become more real if he said it out loud, and even more so since it was to another person. He heard Christine sigh. “You don’t have to tell me, but just know that I am here. Also, it would probably be better to talk to someone.” Jeremy hated how right she was.

 

“I know, I know. I just- I don’t know. Admitting it out loud will make it real.” Christine gave him a slightly sympathetic look as they walked into the auditorium together. Jeremy knew that he was probably being slightly aggravating right now, be he just couldn’t bring himself to admit it. He knew how he felt, he knew it was only going to get worse, so why not just admit it? He heaved a sigh. “I’m sorry I just,” He rubbed the back of his neck, “It’s complicated I guess.” Christine nodded with a small smile on his face.

 

“It’s okay, Jeremy, I’m probably just being overly dramatic anyway.” Christine shook her head dismissively, but Jeremy’s eyebrows knit in confusion.

 

“Christine, there is  _ nothing _ overly dramatic about caring for your friends. Also, You’re never overly dramatic. It’s not your fault you have a jumpy and happy personality.” Christine gave him a grateful smile as she sat at one of the tables. 

 

“Thank you, Jeremy. I’m not sure what’s up just today-”

 

“We all have our off days, Christine, don’t worry. I totally understand.” Christine smiled at him once more. Soon, Mr.Reyes walked in blabbering once again about his kid or something. Jeremy tried his hardest to listen, but his mind dwelled on the fact he had worried his friends. He had made Christine think the Squip was bothering him! Maybe he shouldn’t be dwelling n it, he should just move on, it’s what most people would do. Yet, his brain was about as stubborn as a mule, and all it could think about was the squip. Did they seriously worry about him that much?

 

_ They weren’t worried about you, Jeremy, they were just being courteous.  _

 

Jeremy had to resist the urge to groan, or gasp, or even ask to leave the room because he had to stay strong. It was just a voice in his head, it had no power over him, everything was fine. Yet, he felt his back straightening and he had the urge to scratch a certain spot on his wrist. He tried to steady his breathing.  _ This shouldn’t affect him this much god damnit _ . It never bother Rich like this, so why did it bother him?

 

_ It’s because you’re weak, Jeremy _

 

No, no he was not weak. They were powerless, he wasn’t worried. He was absolutely  _ fine _ . He could hold it together until tonight when he was home alone, right? No, no he was going to hold it together completely because he wasn’t going to break down. He was absolutely dandy right now. He didn’t feel like breaking down at all right now, his eyes weren't wet with unshed tears at all-

 

“Jeremy, you coming? It’s time to practice,” Jeremy jumped up, startled. Christine gave him a curious look as he tried to calm himself down, calm his breathing. Christine’s eyes swam with worry, which just made Jeremy feel even worse about all of this because, fuck, he was making her worry again. He shouldn't worry his friends like this god dammit, they didn’t need to worry about him. He wasn’t worth that, right? Suddenly Christine was gently taking his arm and was leading him outside of the auditorium. She took him to a bench that was sitting in the open under the gloomy sky, sat him down, and gave him her water bottle. Jeremy took it, but he didn’t drink from it, only fiddled with it, running his hands on the cold metal. Christine sat beside him quietly, letting him calm down a bit. They sat like that for a while, silent mostly, Jeremy focusing himself on the water bottle in his hands and Christine sitting quietly next to him. Christine let out a small sound, alerting Jeremy she was going to start speaking.

 

“Jeremy, I-I know you don’t have to tell me what’s wrong, but seriously, you’re starting to scare me.” Jeremy felt himself wince at that. “Whatever it is must be serious must be messing with your head, so please if you can, talk to someone”

 

“It’s not what I was thinking about at lunch, if that’s what you’re worried about. Well I mean, it’s kinda that but also not really? I guess that doesn’t really make sense, does it? Sorry, uh,” Jeremy heard himself talk faster and he took a deep breath. “I don’t know I just, sorry.”

 

“Jeremy, there is no reason you need to say sorry-”

 

“No I mean, I’m sorry for making you worry. I- i made you think they were back and I just, fuck, that isn’t okay, ya know?  I shouldn’t make you guys worry about stuff like that. I should be completely fine, right? I shouldn't be outside right now about to fucking break down because my friends are worried about me. This isn’t normal-” His voice broke and he was sure he was crying now. God, why was he so  _ weak _ . “God, just, sorry, Christine. This shouldn’t even be happening right now, fuck.” He wiped a tear that had ran down his face. Why had one thing,  _ one dumb thing _ set him off like this? Why the hell did he over react so much? Why couldn't he just be normal for like five seconds?

 

“Jeremy, don’t you beat yourself up like that. You’ve done nothing wrong at all.” He sighed.

 

“I’m having a break down because  my friends fucking care about me. I’m literally freaking out because I feel fucking worthless. That isn’t normal, Christine! Why the fuck can’t I be normal for like, three fucking seconds!” He was crying a little harder now. He didn't understand this. He didn't understand why he was breaking down right now, or why the fuck he was even dwelling on this. It was so fucking pointless. 

 

“Jeremy, listen to me. A wise man once said to me: we all have off days. You're upset and that's okay because we all get worked up over nothing sometimes. It happens a lot when people get stressed. Also, you are not worthless, okay? Jeremy, you mean so much to so many people. Me, Jenna, rich, Jake, chloe, Brooke, Michael, we all care so deeply about you, and we will always worry. You've been through a lot in your short 17 years of living. A lot than most adults, and I understand that random things can set you off, so I worry. We all do. So, no, you're not worthless, Jeremy heere. “ The tears on Jeremy's face were hot, salty, and incredibly unpleasant, and he felt incredibly drained, but Jeremy did feel slightly better.

 

“Sorry, again, for making you worry.” christine sighed slightly, but a small smile was present. She looked like she was going to say something, but the bell rang loud and shrill in their ears, and people were starting to fill the outside world again. Jeremy felt something in his stomach, something that told him that, right, he was still at school, and he was sitting in the halls crying, and he had to go to physics in about 6 minutes. His face went slightly red at the thought of having to go to class with a year stained face. Christine must've saw, because she smiled lightly at him. 

 

“Hey, you've got rich in your next class, right? He can probably at least attempt to make you laugh.” Jeremy smiled at the thought of Rich making dumb Physics-based puns, and will probably somehow spill something on his report, then will get upset because he has to re do it. Then he'll bribe Jeremy into letting him copy off. Maybe that will make him feel better. Christine handed Jeremy his backpack and helped him up, then ran off to her next class so she wouldn't be late. Jeremy ran the other direction towards the physics lab, taking a seat next to Rich right as the bell rang. Rich gave him a look as he sat down, confirming to jeremy that, yep, he still looked like shit. Hell, he felt like shit. He was dead exhausted and kinda just wanted to go home and sleep. At least he didn't feel like he was on the verge of an anxiety attack any more. 

 

Their teacher talked for about ten minutes of class, explaining the lab they were supposed to do, and the work that needed to be done after. Jeremy wasn't really paying attention to what he was being told, so he hoped that Rich was paying attention for him, because Jeremy couldn't find the energy to focus right now. Too much still bouncing around in his head. After a while, the sound of a teacher talking was replaced by the sound of chairs scraping floors and lots of chattering, and Jeremy assumed that everyone was gathering supplies. He felt Rich move next to him, hopping down from his lab stoop to go get their materials. Jeremy silently reminded himself to thank Rich for being a good friend later. Right as Rich left, someone plopped themselves in front of Jeremy, and they set their notebook there as well. He glanced up to see a darker skinned girl with jet black hair falling down around her shoulders in many braids. Jeremy thinks her name is Nina or something, but he can't really remember right now. 

 

“okee dokie, so, time to get experimenting,” Rich exclaimed as he got back, hands full of things. He set stuff on the table as he read through something in his notebook, then started to prepare. Jeremy watched Rich as he started to weigh some random objects. “So, all we have to do is weigh these objects, time how long it takes for it to drop, then do some mathy shit then we are done.” Jeremy silently hoped that “Mathy shit” meant something easy that he could understand. 

 

“that is truly the worst explanation if a lab I've ever heard Jesus Christ. Also, are you going to let us help? It's a group effort we all need to-”

 

“hey, calm yourself. We'll all get a turn to do something or whatever, I just thought that we would each do something specific. One weighs, one times, one does math. So, you two figure out which is better at math.” Rich turned himself back to the scale and started to mutter things to himself. Nina, at least he  _ hoped _ that was her name, turned to him. 

 

“You good at math?” Jeremy shrugged slightly. 

 

“I mean, I usually do the math when we do labs, but I usually have to re do it a few times. Plus I can barely focus right now so I'll probably be even worse.” He cringed at his self-deprecating he sounded. 

 

_ “ _ Jeremy you're just fine at math calm down, you should,” Rich smiled as he pulled out a key chain and flashed a light in Jeremy's eyes, “lighten up” Rich and Jeremy cracked up, but Nina stayed silent. “but you're right when you said you can't focus. You any good at math, Nina?” she shrugged. 

 

“I mean, I guess I am” Rich smiled, confirming she would be doing the math. He went back to weighing the objects, and Jeremy lay his head on the table. God, he felt like he could sleep for years. Maybe after school, Michael could drive him to Seven Eleven and they could get slushies or something with sugar. That would hopefully help him wake up, keep him awake through at least his homework and some video games. Maybe he could even convince Michael to let him get some caffeine, even though he knew in theory, that was a bad idea. Caffeine made him stay awake, yes, but after like an hour Jeremy was dead asleep and nothing could really wake him for like 6 hours. If that didn’t happen, he got unexplainably anxious, and he didn’t need that for a second time today. The risk probably wasn’t worth it, he could just stay tired or something.

 

“Hey, Jeremy, you okay?” Rich’s voice sounded unsure and quiet. Jeremy slowly lifted his head up and looked at his shorter friend, his face concerned. If he had more energy, Jeremy probably would have been worried seeing Rich look like that. “You seem kinda out of it today, did something happen?” Jeremy sighed and slowly shook his head.

 

“I don’t even know how to explain it I just… it acted up and, I don’t know, It worries me that my friends worry about me, and I just got really worked up about it? Like as in I almost had to go to the nrse to calm myself down worked up?” He said it like more of a question than a statement. “Thankfully Christine was there and just, uh, yeah.” He finished off his little spiel and looked down at his hands. God did this make him feel dumb. He couldn’t even explain why he practically had a panic attack, how dumb was that? “I mean, I’m fine now I guess, just I’m absolutely drained. I’ll be fine though, I’ll just ask Michael if we can get slushies after school or something.” Jeremy tried to fill the silence Rich was leaving. Suddenly, there was a rustle next t him, and he was being handed a half empty water bottle and a granola bar.

 

“Having a panic attack takes about as much energy as running a marathon, that shit drains you. Eat and keep the water, and I recommend taking it easy,” Rich said before Jeremy could ask. Jeremy almost didn’t take the food, but he  _ was _ pretty hungry, so he smiled gratefully at his friend.

 

“Thanks, Rich.” Then, their new lab partner came back from where ever she was and looked curiously at the two, who weren’t working. She sighed and took her seat.

 

“You know, the work isn’t going to get itself done. You actually have to  _ do _ the work, not dick around and eat food,” She turned directly to Jeremy, “Or sleep through class” Jeremy slouched under gaze even though he knew he wasn’t in the wrong. He had started to say sorry when Rich spoke up.

 

“Oh please, calm down. Jeremy hasn’t done anything wrong, this isn’t his fault. You’d wanna sleep too if you were in his shoes,” Nina rolled her eyes but kept quiet afterward. Jeremy then got to work on timing how long it took the objects to fall. He worked through basically the rest of the class, though he almost fell asleep once or twice. Who could really blame him though, honestly? Nonetheless, he got all of his work done, then spent the rest of class messing around on his phone and joking with Rich every once in awhile. It was quite fun despite Jeremy’s obvious exhaustion. Soon enough the bell rang and Jeremy was walking out towards the senior parking lot. He found Michael by his car already, but he was pacing worriedly. Jeremy instantly went in Protective friend Mode™ and walked up to his friend, ignoring the fact that his heart was picking up in speed.

 

“Michah? You okay?” He asked worriedly. Michael looked at Jeremy relieved, but then worry overtook his face again, and Jeremy tried not to show how guilty he suddenly felt.

 

“Am  _ I  _ okay? Shit, Jer, Christine told me you had a panic attack in 5th! I should be asking you if  _ you’re  _ okay.” Jeremy looked down at his feet trying his best to not cry.  _ Fuck why couldn’t he go an hour without crying over something fucking stupid? _ “Fuck, Jeremy, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have sounded so pissed I just, shit, I was worried about you? Christine had said she didn’t really know why you started to freak out, and she worried that you weren’t okay, which made me worry you weren’t okay and just!”

 

“Michael, I’m fine. Sorry for making you worry, not really sure what happened myself.” Jeremy looked at his best friend who was smiling thankfully at him, and Jeremy’s stomach did that weird flippy thing that he wanted so desperately to hate.

 

“No reason to be sorry, Jer. How about we just go and get some slushies or something and play video games at my place till we pass out?” Jeremy smiled and nodded his head, heading towards the passenger seat of Michael old PT Cruiser. Maybe his day would actually turn out decent.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should mention that when I wrote this is Docs, I named it 'Silent Piner McFuck' so if that says anything about this chapter  
> also, I use some Filipino Tagalog, and I only know English and ASL so if I get stuff wrong I'm hella sorry  
> Plus, this chapter is mostly fluff, and I had a lot of fun writing this (Even if I did stay up super late to get it up at least close to my original update day)

Jeremy was frantically pressing the buttons of his controller, moving his character around the screen of the TV, killing zombies, violently trying his best to get to the end of the level with Michael by his side. Level thirteen proved to be a lot harder than either of them would have thought. Both of them were trying as hard as they could, fighting valiantly, yet a game over sign appeared on their screen for what felt like the thousandth time. A groan of aggravation came from Jeremy’s right side and Jeremy copied his friend.

 

“Again?! How did we even die! I call bullshit!” Michael yelled at his TV screen, and Jeremy laughed tiredly. Michael sometimes got  _ too  _ into the game, but honestly who could blame him? They had been trying to beat Apocalypse of the Damned for, like, forever now. Jeremy was getting quite aggravated himself, but also today he just couldn’t put his all into it. He was still pretty damn tired. “Maybe if we try one more time…” Jeremy tried not to ruin Michael’s fun, he wanted to keep playing himself, but he just didn’t have it in him.

 

“Actually, could we maybe take a break or something? I’m exhausted and I don’t mean to ruin your fun but, uh, yeah.” Jeremy rubbed the back of his neck. He seriously did feel bad. Something flashed behind Michael’s eyes but it was gone before Jeremy could figure out what it was. Michael smiled and nodded.

 

“Yeah, no problem, Jer! Want some food or something? I think we have some left over pizza we can eat?” Michael started to turn off the old console and made his way to the basement stairs. “Pretty sure we also have some chips or some shit. Not sure if Mom has gone to the store yet this week,” Jeremy followed his best friend towards the kitchen as he babbled on about food they had in the house. Jeremy smiled at Michaels back because, why was this so cute? Okay, wait, That sounded really gay, didn’t it? Uh, it was just uh, nice to hear Michael babble on like that? Yeah, uh, that worked. God, why did he even try anymore, he was literally talking to himself!

 

_ Not only yourself, Jeremy… _

 

“God dammit, can you stop?” He hadn’t realized he had said it out loud, but Michael turned around and looked at him worriedly, making Jeremy’s stomach churn with anxiety, “Shit, uh, fuck I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that out loud just uh,” Jeremy tried to think of an excuse, talking to himself? No, that wasn’t believable. He didn’t want to worry Michael but he knew that Mnt. Dew would help calm it down for at least a week. “Uh, do… Do you have any Mnt? Dew Red?” Michael’s face lit up with recognition, then went somber as he bolted up the stairs to the upper level of the house. Jeremy was left standing halfway up the basement stairs in a slight shock at how fast Michael had bolted. Jeremy heard a muffled “Anak, don’t run in the house!” and he heard Michael from somewhere else say “Sorry, Ina”, then he was back and shoving a small can into Jeremy’s hand. Jeremy smiled at Michael thankfully and chugged the can gratefully. God, he hoped that this worked longer than last time. 

 

“Jer? Why didn’t you tell me it was bothering you, I could have given that to you hours ago.” Michael’s voice was sad and worried, making Jeremy cringe.

 

“I, uh, didn’t want to worry you with it? I know it’s dumb but I just,” Jeremy sighed at himself. It shouldn't be this hard to explain himself.

 

“It’s okay just, tell me next time, yeah?” Jeremy cast his eyes downwards as he nodded his head. Why couldn’t he just trust his  _ best fucking friend _ \- “Hey, don’t beat yourself up over this,” Jeremy tried to object but Michael trucked on, “No, don’t even try to deny it, I know you, Heere. Now, come on. We’ve got a pizza to eat.” Michael smiled at Jeremy brightly and Jeremy’s heart swelled with affection because what did he ever do to deserve a best friend like Michael? Then, Michael grabbed Jeremy’s arm and dragged him up the stairs, and Jeremy prayed that his face wasn’t red, he didn’t need that right now. Or ever, for that matter. When they reached the kitchen, Michael let go of Jeremy and bolted to look through the fridge. Michael pulled out a large cardboard box, a bottle of some sort of soda, and a few other miscellaneous items before moving to the cabinets and raiding those as well. Jeremy watched with a small smile on his face, and he heard a small chuckle from behind him.

 

“Are we having lots of people over,” He heard Michael’s mom, well one of them, ask. She chuckled as her son reached further into the cabinet, digging out more food\

 

“Nah, just Jer and I. Not sure about Jeremy, but I’m starving, so I’m raiding the cabinet,” Michael said matter-of-factly. His mom chuckled lightly as she got up from the kitchen table and put her mug in the sink, then stretched her back.

 

“Well, boys, I’m going to the grocery store, then meeting your mom for dinner. I’ll be back to give you two food since you’re eating everything else now,” She gave Michael a pointed look, but a small smile was present on her face, “But otherwise you won’t see us until late. Is Jeremy staying over?” Michael looked to Jeremy, who shrugged, then nodded his head. “Alright, well don’t burn down the house while I’m out.” 

 

“Wait, Ina, it’s 5 pm why are you going to be back so late? Does dinner really take that long?” Michael’s mom shrugged.

 

“I’m just giving an estimate, Anak. I say eleven because your mom and I are two married women with a seventeen-year-old child, and we need time away. Also, because this is a date if you know what that is.” Michael scrunched up his face, making both Jeremy and his mom laugh. Jeremy mostly laughed because he was hiding the fact that Michael looked really cute and he didn’t want that to show.

 

“I know what a date is, also ew romance.” Michaels mom laughed again

“Oh, yeah, says you.” Michaels' face turned a dark shade of red, reaching the tip of his ears, making Michael's mom laugh even more. Jeremy didn’t really know what his mom had meant, but he sure wasn’t complaining. Michael somehow looked even cuter with a red face, and it was doing weird things to his heart. “Besides, Michael, romance  _ made  _ you. Anyways, I’ve gotta go so that I’m not late to dinner. See you, two boys, later!” She made her way across the kitchen and into the living room, but not before ruffling Michael’s hair first. Michael sent her a dirty look and then went back to his task of raiding the cabinets. Jeremy saw bags of chips, candies, and a multitude of other junk foods fly towards the counter and Jeremy watched in amusement as more things piled up.

 

“Christ, Michah, how hungry are you?”  he laughed. He saw Michael shrug, still rummaging.

 

“I’m pretty hungry, but also you’re upset so I’m force feeding you junk food in hopes to make you feel better” his voice was muffled by the walls of the cabinet, but Jeremy still heard the lack of sarcasm in Michael's statement. In all their 13 years of friendship, Michael still didn’t truly know how to comfort Jeremy or anyone for that matter. It was both funny and endearing, and Jeremy hated how endearing he found it.

 

“So,” Michael started as he started to gather the food, “What do you wanna do? I’m a bit tired of video games.” Jeremy thought on it but came up with nothing. Usually, when he’s at Michael's house they just eat junk food and play video games, and it’s stayed that way since the squip. It made Jeremy kinda sad, he missed when they just stayed up late talking about random shit, or they sat and cried over Disney movies (Michael always cried during Beauty and the Beast, but Jeremy always cried during Bambi). God did he miss that, he would give anything for them to be that comfortable again, but something inside him told him that Michael still didn’t trust him enough yet. It hurt like hell, but he knew that little voice was probably right, he had done some horrible shit to Michael, and he’s lucky his friend even looks his way anymore, let alone hang out with him. “I’m not really sure, what do you want to do?”

 

“Wanna watch a movie? Oh!” Michael exclaimed, smiling brightly, “We could watch a Disney movie! Just like when we did sophomore year! We could have the same bet too! Whoever cries first has to do whatever the other says for a full day?” Michael was bouncing up and down, almost like an overexcited puppy. Jeremy felt his heart constrict with a mass of just  _ feeling _ as he nodded his head excitedly.

 

“Yeah! That sounds awesome!” Michael’s smile widened even more, his dimples showing fully, radiating like the sun, then he ran off presumably to go pick a Disney movie. Jeremy stayed in the kitchen by himself for a minute to try and calm his beating heart and  _ very _ hot face. Funny how he had been doubting himself just seconds before about this, and now he’s swooning at the fact his best friend looked so happy and excited. But, god, it felt good to know Michael was comfortable to just sit and watch a movie again. Maybe things really were fixing themselves?

“Jer? You coming?” he heard from the front room of the house. Jeremy smiled to himself and walked towards where Michael was, crouched in front of his DVD rack, scanning through the movies. “So, what do you wanna watch first? I was thinking something easy to sit through like Snow White? Or, we could start with Wall-E and get the bet over fast so that we don’t have to struggle not to cry? Because let's be honest here, neither of us are great at not crying during disney movies.”

 

“Hmmmm… I think Wall-E. Just so we can watch Beauty and the beats afterwards and I can watch you cry.” Jeremy said, laughing as Michael flipped him off.

 

“Watch it in my room, or watch it out here and risk the embarrassment having my Moms’ find us crying” 

 

“Mmmm,” Jeremy hummed thoughtfully,

“I say we watch it in your room. I know your mom's have probably found us crying together dozens of times but,” he sighed, “honestly I might fall asleep and to be honest, your bed is so much more comfortable. I mean, uh,” he added, face heating up, “if you wanna share the bed, that is.” Jeremy gulped. They  _ always _ shared a bed, but he still felt the need to ask. He was sometimes scared that Michael would turn him down, tell him no, tell him that-

 

“Jer, of course we can share the bed. We always do.” Michael stated, pulling out the movie they had selected. The two made their way up to the second floor of the house and into Michael's bedroom. They were greeted with clothes strewn all over the floor, an incredibly messy bed, walls covered in posters, and there was a small mini-fridge in the corner where Michael kept his old and outdated drinks. Jeremy sat himself on Michael's bed and grabbed a blanket, making himself comfortable. Michael put the DVD into his player across the room, then grabbed a remote from off the TV stand and made his way towards the bed. 

 

“You’re hogging the bed, move over, Dork.” Michael said, playfulness in his tone. Jeremy took that as a challenge, and planted his ass right in the middle of Michael’s bed, and he tried his best to put all his weight down. Michael tried to push him off, but Jeremy just leaned to the side, not actually moving himself, making Michael raise an eyebrow at him. “so, that's how it's going to be, hu?” he tried to push Jeremy again, but got nowhere. Jeremy thought he was going to give up, when Michael started to climb onto the bed towards Jeremy. Jeremy looked at his best friend confused, until he realized a little too late, that Michael was in fact, going to sit on his lap. Jeremy felt his face heat up, and he tried to choke back a strangled noise of pure  _ gay _ . He seriously hoped Michael hadn't heard.

 

Michael shifted in Jeremy's lap until he deemed himself comfortable, and he laid his head on Jeremy's chest. Jeremy tried his best to not squirm or like, die, as Michael calmly started pressing buttons on the remote and started the movie. (little did Jeremy know, Michael was just about, if not more red in the face than him, and his heart was beating about 500 times a second). The commercials started up, and the two sat in a silence that Jeremy didn't know how to describe. After three or four commercials, Michael finally spoke up, and spoke calmly;

 

“so, are you going to move so that I can sit next to you, or am I staying here. I feel like this is uncomfortable for you, but whatever works, dude.” Jeremy swallowed hard, and hoped that his voice sounded normal. 

 

“No, I think I'll move,” much to his dismay, Jeremy's voice sounded about an octave higher than normal, and he was surprised he hadn't died of embarrassment yet. Or died of overload of gay feelings. What a way to go out, hu?

 

Michael removed himself from Jeremy's lap, and Jeremy quickly moved to the side so that Michael could sit next to him. Jeremy hoped his face wasn't as red any more, but with his luck it probably was. He glanced over at the shorter boy to see that his face was a beautiful shade of strawberry red, which made Jeremy's stomach flip. He just wasn't going to catch a break tonight, was he? Soon enough the movie started, and Michael was already engrossed. They had both seen Wall-E about a million times, but they both loved it, and at least of of them cried near the end. As Michael watched the movie, Jeremy mostly kept his eyes on Michael. His hair was tousled, a small half smile was present on his face, the TV screen reflected onto his glasses, but Jeremy could still see his deep, chocolate brown eyes. As Jeremy sat there, he knew that he was in far  _ far _ too deep, and he was going to regret letting himself fall this hard for his best friend, but also it feels so nice to be able to feel this way about someone. It probably wouldn't last for long, or would probably start to hurt after a while, the fact of knowing that his pining was probably pointless, but Jeremy wanted to bask in this feeling for as long as he could. He wanted to live in that moment for a very  _ very _ long time. 

 

Sadly, though, the moment was short lived when Michael glanced towards him and caught Jeremy staring. Jeremy turned his head towards the TV quickly, praying to every god out there that Michael hadn't connected the dots, hand noticed how long Jeremy had been staring. Jeremy felt Michael's eyes on him for a few more seconds, until he turned back towards the movie screen. Jeremy let his shoulders fall slack with a slight relief, and then tried his best to pay attention to the movie. Wall-E and Eve were currently in Wall-E’s little makeshift home, and Wall-E was showing Eva human things. Jeremy had always loved this part, picking out and finding all of the hidden junk in the background, nut also when they danced and Eva puts a dent in the wall. 

 

Jeremy felt Michael's presence next to him as Eva finds the love scene on Wall-e’s TV, and he feels how Michael subconsciously leans in towards Jeremy. When they were sophomores, Michael would have made some sort of comment about how it represented Jeremy and Christine if he would just ask christine out, but he couldn't exactly do that now. Still, though, Michael leaned in closer to Jeremy, and he scooted himself closer. Michael grabbed part of the blanket Jeremy was using and dropped it over himself, then rested his head on Jeremy's shoulder. Jeremy tried not to let it show how for fast his heart was beating, and he tried not to let show that he held in a sharp intake of breath, and he tried to hard to ignore the thing in his brain telling him that he was in deep. He also ignored the part of his brain that was telling him to wrap an arm around Michael. No way in hell was he ever going to do that, because they would never actually get together, right?

 

“Jer, are you even paying attention to the movie? Are you too tired or something? Do you wanna stop and continue this tomorrow?” Michael's voice brought Jeremy back to Earth, and he quickly shook his head. No matter how bad he was pining, he was not going to pass up sitting here cuddling with Michael. Okay, so maybe it was  _ because  _ of the pinning he wouldn't pass up the cuddles. Sue him. 

 

“nah, I'm fine, I'm just thinking is all” Jeremy replied vaguely. Michael nodded slowly then turned his head back towards the movie. Jeremy looked at the screen once more, and saw Wall-E and Eva, who was now shut down, sitting atop a building, when a giant ship appeared. The ship started to take Eva away, and Wall-E grabbed onto the ship to follow Eve. Jeremy finds himself smiling slightly as he watched, remembering how much he missed this movie, and how much he missed just sitting here watching a movie with Michael. Sure, he loved playing video games, but sometimes that got too intense, and they were yelling at the TV, and it wasn't as enjoyable. While watching a movie, they two of them could just sit relax, enjoy each other's company and the movie. It was so nice and peaceful, Jeremy wished they could do it more often if he was being honest with himself. But also, any time he spent with Michael was nice. 

 

But honestly, he was probably biased. 

 

Then, Jeremy felt something wet hit his shoulder. He glanced over and saw Michael had a few tears on his face, which surprised jeremy, because it was so early on the move. Jeremy looked over to the screen to see that it was already nearing the end. Had he been seriously mooning over  Michael so much that he had missed over half of the movie? And he hadn't cried?

 

“Michael, are you, crying?” Jeremy said, almost smugly. Michael sniffles and shook his head, hair tickling Jeremy's neck. 

 

“N-no! I just, uh,” Michael didn't bother to finish the sentence, making Jeremy laugh. “oh,  stop laughing at me, Heere.”

 

“but I finally won the bet! I haven't won in so long,” Jeremy said triumphantly, warning himself an eye roll from Michael. Michael then removed his head from the crook of Jeremy's neck, and layer down on the bed. 

 

“Anyways, I'm absolutely exhausted. I don't know about you, but I'm going to sleep,” Michael yawned. Jeremy nodded and laid down next to his best friend, wiggling himself under the blankets. The lights were thankfully already off, and Michael didn't bother turning off the TV, so the two fell asleep with the soft sound of the credits playing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> -Ina: Mom/Mother  
> -Anak: Son/Child  
> I'm really sorry if this chapter seems rushed, its 12am and I'm fucking exhausted, also I'm sorry that it's shorter than the last chapter, i'm just,,, so dead right now. But at least its up
> 
> Comments are greatly appreciated, and I try to respond to every single one of them!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Okay I am so fucking sorry this was so late! School is literally killing me and I am really fucking stressed,,, but Heere it is!!!! I hope you like the fluff ;)

Jeremy awoke with his legs entangled in blankets and something and something warm pressing down on his chest. The force was slightly heavy, and Jeremy was kinda having a hard time breathing, but he could hardly care, he was far too tired, plus it was comforting, almost like a warm hug. His brain was muddled with sleep, so he couldn’t exactly think straight, but he did know that he was at Michael's house, based on the cream colored walls and Bob Marley posters everywhere. Though, he didn’t really remember getting into Michael's bed, or throwing a large blanket over himself, which reminded him, where was Michael? Jeremy tried to remove himself from the bed, but the force that lay on his chest didn’t budge. He raised his head up slightly to see what was holding him down and saw a red sweater and a mop of thick brown hair sticking up in all directions. Jeremy felt his face heat up as he thought about the fact that he and Michael had fallen asleep together. They did this all the time, and Jeremy knew he shouldn’t dwell on the fact too much, but also the thought of it was doing really weird things to his heart, and he seriously didn’t like it. Jeremy tried to move Michael to the side slightly so that he could get up, but Michael made a small displeased sound in the back of his throat, then snuggled himself into the crook of Jeremy’s neck and sighed contently. Jeremy tried his best to not, like, die, or make a strangled noise at how absolutely fucking adorable that was, and nudged his friend in the side again. Michael slowly, so slowly, rose his head up and looked down on Jeremy, tired eyes focused solely on him.

"Mornin’," Michael said, voice deep and slurred, thick with sleep, a small, fond, smile on his face. Jeremy felt himself gulp slightly, not as tired anymore, and he gave Michael a shaky smile back, trying not to show how much he was fucking dying on the inside.

"H-Hey Michah," Jeremy replied, his voice a little higher than normal. “How’d you sleep?” Jeremy tried his best to sound nonchalant. He failed.

“Hmmm,” Michael hummed in consideration, “Pretty fucking amazing,” he finally decided. Jeremy tried not to think about why it was so amazing. He also tried not to focus too much on how pretty Michael looked currently, his eyes soft, smile serene. He tried not to focus on how nice it felt to wake up with Michael on top of him or… Michael's eyes widened, and Jeremy looked at him, confusion written on his face.

“Jeremy, what time is it?” His voice sounded slightly worried, and Jeremy mirrored his friends anxiety as he turned to face the clock, which read 7:25. Jeremy quickly tried to throw Michael off him, not succeeding. Michael, though, took that as a sign to hurry the hell up as he stumbled off of the bed, and blindly reached around for clothes. Jeremy himself didn’t really have any clean clothes, but he did throw some dry shampoo in his hair and put on some deodorant. He heard Michael curse behind him, and he turned to see that Michael had grabbed the wrong red thing, and he had accidentally grabbed a sheet, making everything fall off his bed. Jeremy laughed lightly and grabbed Michaels glasses, putting them on his friends face.

“Looking for these, maybe?” he said with a laugh. Michael rolled his eyes at him, the continued the search for his hoodie. Once Jeremy deemed himself at least somewhat presentable, he quickly made his way downstairs towards the kitchen, where he found both of Michael’s Moms having coffee and chatting idly. Jeremy flashed them a quick smile as he poured Michael a cup of coffee in a travel mug, then grabbing himself a protein drink thing. The two ladies at the table watched him with amusement as he frantically searched around for something to eat.

“Running late this morning?” One asked. She was Filipino, like Michael, long brown hair put into a very messy bun at the back of her head. Jeremy nodded at he grabbed some granola bars, shoving them into his backpack.

“Stayed up late watching movies, slept through the alarm,” He said quickly, then turned towards the general direction of Michaels room, “Michael! Come on, we gotta go if we don’t want to be late,” Jeremy glanced at the clock, alarmed to see it said 7:35, “We have five minutes to get in the car and not be late!” Jeremy heard running around from upstairs, then saw Michael running down, frantically looking for his keys.

“Time?” He asked, haphazardly throwing papers around, finally spotting his keys

“Thirty-seven. Coffee, granola bar.” Jeremy shoved a breakfast into Michael’s hands, who took it gratefully and took a large swig of his coffee. He flashed Jeremy a smile, then started walking backward towards the door, Jeremy close in pursuit.

“Bye Mom! Bye Ina! See you after school!” Michael called back to his Parents, who waved a short goodbye. The two boys made their way out the door and into Michael’s old PT Cruiser, throwing themselves into their respective seats and buckling themselves in. Michael quickly started up his car and drove out of his driveway quickly as he legally could. They were soon on the road and on the way towards the school. Jeremy’s heart was beating slightly fast, and his breathing was quicker than normal, but he was proud of them for making it out of the house on time. Now they just needed to make it to school fast enough and hopefully not get detention. He knew neither of them wanted that. Michael groaned as they just missed a green light. He turned to look at Jeremy as he said;

"So, Jer, today is the day you get to boss me around. Any requests before school?”. Jeremy had almost forgotten that he had won the bet last night, hell he barely remembered anything from last night. He seriously needed to think of something, though, because he wasn’t going to waste his one chance to get literally anything. Only thing was, he had never really been good at asking for things, let alone making people do things for him. It had always made him feel manipulative, so this would definitely be interesting.

"Not currently, but maybe in third, who knows. We both know I've never been good at this." Michael stepped on the gas as soon as the light turned green, and he smiled.

"Well, then I've got an easy day ahead of me, huh?" He joked, smirk present. Jeremy laughed slightly because he knew his friend was probably right, but Jeremy wanted to make his friend do something, he just didn’t exactly know what yet.

“I’ll think of something, don’t worry. Be prepared, Mell, you’re going to do so much stuff for me, you’ll probably hate me afterward,” Jeremy regretted saying what he did and was going to say something to cover up how weird that sounded, but Michael laughed in response, turning yet another corner.

“Nah, I don’t think I could ever hate you, dude, you’re my best bro,” Michael said matter-of-factly. Jeremy’s head instantly started going through reasons why Michael should hate him, but he abruptly stopped that part of his brain. Not today, Satan. He tried to direct himself to another conversation topic when the school came into view. Jeremy glanced at the clock and saw they had about five minutes left until classes started, and he hoped and prayed that his teacher would be late. His first period teach didn’t like him very much, so he had a feeling that if he was late to class, she wouldn’t cut him any slack. Plus he was pretty sure he had a test in that class today, and he didn’t need to be late for that especially.

“Michael, if my teacher kills me, please tell Rich he needs to make a fucking move. If you don’t know what that means, he will,” Jeremy said truthfully as Michael pulled into the crowded senior parking lot, maneuvering through the masses of almost late students towards his parking space. Michael let out a laugh but nodded.

“Sure thing, drama queen.” Jeremy rolled his eyes with a smile but didn’t waste any time as Michael finally parked. Jeremy quickly unbuckled himself, reached behind him for his bad, and hopped out of the car, Michael right behind him. Soon, the two boys were practically sprinting towards their school fast as they could, weaving through the lower classmen who walked far too slow. Sometimes Jeremy wondered how any of them made it to their classes, or if he was that slow Freshman year. He kinda hoped not, because it was really fucking annoying.

“Bye, Jeremy, see you third!” Jeremy heard Michael yell as he turned a corner. Jeremy didn’t bother answering his friend as he kept on, determined to make it to class before the late bell rang. Jeremy didn’t know how much time he had left, or how much time it had been since he had gotten out of Michael’s car, but he knew that his adrenaline was running out, and he was starting to slow down. He just needed to make it a little farther, a left, right, straight three doors down and… 

Jeremy threw the door of his first period open and flung himself into his seat fast as he could, pulling out his notebook and starting to do the warm-up task. The bell rang as soon as he grabbed his pen, and Jeremy let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding.

“Very nice of you to join us, Mr.Heere, right as the bell rang, as usual,” Jeremy’s teacher called out, voice tired and annoyed.

“Sorry, Mrs, I slept in late,” Jeremy grumbled back, reluctant to put up a fight. At least she couldn’t mark him late since he sat down before the bell. Behind him, Jeremy heard quiet heckling ‘probably making out with his fag boyfriend, antisocial headphones kid’ they said. Jeremy tried to resist the urge to turn around and say something, and just opted for sighing. Sure, Jeremy usually didn’t mind comments like that since he was bi, but also the use of the word ‘fag’ and the use of Michael’s weird name people had given him made him slightly angry, and he sometimes wished he had the balls to actually stand up for himself. If Rich had been there, he would have instantly told them off, being the way he is, but alas, Rich wasn’t there so Jeremy sat quietly.

“Take out a piece of paper and a writing utensil. Number your paper one through twenty, and don’t turn over the test until I say. You will have all class period, and If you finish early you may do something quietly, but no phones or headphones until everyone is done,” His teacher gave the usual spiel as he tore out a piece of paper for his test.

~Time skip brought to you by my procrastination on this chapter~

Jeremy dragged his feet as he made his way towards fourth period, moving at a slow pace. Despite sleeping in, Jeremy was unexplainably exhausted. He really didn’t feel like taking notes on the founding fathers for an hour, despite how much he knew and how interesting it was to him. Jeremy trudged into the classroom and quickly spotted a red sweater with patches, and plopped himself down right next to his best friend, groaning as he did so. As soon as he was sat down, Jeremy laid his head on the table, hitting it hard, then let out a groan of protest once again. He heard Michael laugh next to him softly.

“Honestly? Hard same,” He said amused. Jeremy couldn’t help but laugh lightly, never moving his head.

“I don’t wanna take notes,” Jeremy whined at his friend pitifully, “Too much work for my poor, tired brain,” Michael laughed at his friend again, and Jeremy turned his head to look at him. Part of him regretted doing that immediately because he was now staring, but also he was glad he got to see how fucking pretty Michael looked in that moment, and Jeremy didn’t know which was better.

“I thought you liked founding fathers, Jer! Hamilton and all that shit,” Michael said in-between laughs. Jeremy rolled his eyes playfully.

“But that’s kinda why I hate it! I know everything already!” Jeremy said, voice rising slightly.

“Sup, homos,” Rich said as he plopped himself behind Michael. Jeremy rolled his eyes with a laugh while Michael just shook his head smiling.

“Hi, Rich,” Jeremy said, amusement clear in his voice, but he still hadn’t lifted his head from the desk.

“What’s up Jer bear, tired?” Rich asked, laughing. Jeremy, in response, groaned, making both Rich and Michael laugh.

“He’s been bemoaning me about how much he doesn’t wanna do notes,” Michael explained, making Jeremy groan again. Rich nodded his head in agreement. “Also, Jer bear?” Michael asked. Rich laughed and shrugged.

“Dunno, seemed funny. Also, Jeremy, same. Notes suck ass,” Rich said to him truthfully. Jeremy nodded best he could, then finally lifted his head up as the bell rang. Begrudgingly, the three boys got out their notebooks and turned to a blank page for notes. Their teacher started up instantly, and Jeremy was instantly bored. 

Jeremy seriously did try to pay attention to the notes, but he kept getting distracted by Rich’s sarcastic comments and Michael's quiet heckling. It was funny, but also slightly annoying. When Jeremy’s phone started buzzing in his hand with a multitude of texts from Rich, Jeremy gave up on paying attention completely, checking his phone secretly. He opened up to a tsunami of texts with little to no meaning, making Jeremy smile slightly.

Mt Dew Bitch  
Help

im bored 

Idk What to do

Michael is actually doing his work

That fuckin square

Jeremy,,,,

I kno ur reading my texts

Answer me u unfinished muppet

Queere  
Rich omg

And i thought i double texted??

Also??

Unfinished muppet?

Mt Dew Bitch  
Dont judge me

Queere  
Im judging

Mt Dew Bitch  
Fuck u

Queere  
U got jake for that ;)

Mt Dew Bitch  
HDHDHDHDH

JEREMY

N O,,,

Queere  
;)))

Jeremy tried incredibly hard not to laugh in the middle of notes about a revolutionary, but it was really hard when Rich was sitting behind him glaring daggers into his back with a cherry red face. Michael gave the two a very curious look and Jeremy just shook his head in a ‘ill tell you later’ manner. Michael nodded and turned back to his notes, jotting down what was important. Jeremy knew he really should get back to notes, but he keeps texting Rich instead because what is one day of notes going to do?

Queere  
U know,,

U could just,,,

Ask him out??

Mt Dew Bitch  
Jeremy

Are you crazY

Would u ask out a dude uve been crushing on for ages randomly??

Jeremy faltered at that because god damn it, Rich was right. Jeremy was being incredibly hypocritical but also watching Rich pine for Jake was getting kinda old.

Queere  
Thats different

U kno jake likes u

So ask him out

Mt Dew Bitch  
R u implying that u like someone

Holy shit

Jeremy

Jeremy motherfuckin heere

Do u like someone????

H o l y s h i t

Im assuming your lack of reply

Is a yes

Who????

Wait

Wait

Wait

Is it Michael???

Jeremy please answer me

Please

Queere  
Holy shit Rich stop blowing up my phone

And for my own sake

Shut the fuck up

Jeremy was avoiding looking anywhere but his paper, hoping to god no one noticed that he was blushing really hard. Mostly, though, he hoped Rich and Michael didn’t notice because that would be a really awkward conversation to have. His phone was still plowing up in his lap, but he was pointedly ignoring it, probably proving Rich’s point, but honestly, Jeremy didn’t care. Well, Jeremy did care, but he knew that he could avoid being alone with Rich until last period. He just had to make sure he didn’t leave Michael’s side during lunch, which would be incredibly easy, especially with the bet going on. A shrill bell rang then, making Jeremy incredibly grateful it was now lunch time. 

“Well, Jer, it's lunch. Am I buying you lunch,” Michael asked slightly sour. Jeremy smiled brightly. 

“You bet your sweet ass you are,” Jeremy said without really thinking. He stopped though, once he realized what he had actually said, but Michael didn't seem to notice, thankfully. Rich, though, did in fact notice and was looking at Jeremy with a knowing look. Jeremy wanted to shoot a look back, but Michael turned to him then, smiling.

“Well, let's go I guess. Time for me to go broke,” he shrugged his shoulders and started to walk out the door, the other two falling into step behind him. The three boys wandered around the school, heading towards the chaotic lunch room. People walked around quickly, pushing and shoving, quickly trying to grab an open table for them and their friends. Every time he walked into that room, Jeremy worried he would lose his friends in the sea of people since they were quite a bit shorter than him.

Rich headed towards a large lunch table where most of their friends sat, but Michael and Jeremy headed towards where they sold food at the student store. As they walked in, Michael instantly headed towards the slushie machine they had in there (“It’s really not that good, but I really like slushies so it’s worth it”) and Jeremy headed towards the fridges. He idly glanced around, looking for an appropriate drink, finally deciding on a juice, then heading towards the snacks. He saw some corn nuts and decided that was a sufficient snack.

“Hey, Mikey, Corn Nuts?” Michael gave him a flat look, and Jeremy took that as a yes. “Ranch or Bq?” 

“Jeremy, ranch ones are disgusting, Bq obviously,” Jeremy grabbed a pack of Bq Corn Nuts for his friend, then grabbed a Pack of Ranch ones for himself, mostly out of spite because he actually loved the Ranch ones. Jeremy also grabbed a few other snacks, then followed Michael up to the counter. Michael glared half heartedly at him as he set down the multitude of things he had chosen, and Michael begrudgingly pulled his wallet out of his backpack muttering to himself, making Jeremy laugh.

“Did this to yourself, dude, shouldn’t’ve lost.” Michael rolled his eyes with a smile and handed the guy at the counter the money.

“You’re really lucky I like you, Heere.” Michael said with a laugh. Jeremy knew what he had meant, ‘You’re really lucky you're my friend and that I like you’ but Jeremy’s never-resting-over thinking brain made the statement sound not just friendly, making Jeremy’s stomach do weird flips in his stomach. God, he hated how he did that, look into everything far too much, read a little too avidly. He was probably just making things up in his head, giving him some sort of false hope. ‘Jer? You coming?” Jeremy looked to see Michael already at the door, looking back at him concerned. Jeremy followed his friend out the door and towards their table. The room was large and definitely over crowded, but what more could you expect from a lunch room at a High School? The two boys walked up to their friends and plopped themselves into the two empty seats left.

“Hey, guys! Where have you been?” Christine queried as they sat down.

“Student store. Jeremy, here, made me buy him a fuck load of snacks.” Michael said slightly sour.

“You lost the bet, Michael, it’s your fault, not mine,” Jeremy said matter-of-factly. Michael rolled his eyes with a smile

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you dork. Enjoy your expensive snacks,” Jeremy laughed, opened up a bag of chips, and started eating them exaggeratedly, Michael glaring at him with no real heat behind it.

“What do you mean he lost a bet, what bet?” Jenna asked, suddenly curious now that there was a potential for gossip. Jeremy looked down at Michael, who’s face was going red, making Jenna seem even more curious. “What! What happened!” Jeremy laughed lightly as Michael slipped down in his hoodie.

“Michael and I have a bet every time we watch a Disney movie. Who ever cries first loses, and has to do whatever the other says for a full 24 hours,” Jeremy explained with a smile. He heard a laugh from the other side of the table and turned to see Rich and Jake laughing their asses off. 

“Oh come on, guys, it’s not that funny,” Christine chided, but her lip was quirked up into a small smile nonetheless.

“What Movie did you guys watch?” Brooke asked one of her eyebrows raised in amusement.

“Wall-E” Michael grumbled next to Jeremy, rolling his eyes.

“I mean,” Chloe starts and Jeremy waits for a slightly snide remark, “To be fair, Wall-E is really fucking sad.” Michael smiles a little at that.

“I know, right,” Michael exclaimed, “I think this just proves that Jeremy is heartless since he didn’t cry.” Jeremy put a hand on his chest and gasped in faux shock.

“How dare you say I’m heartless, Mell! I have a very big heart! I am anything but heartless!” Jeremy heard laughs from all around the table, and he turned to Michael had a giant, dopey grin on his face, Making Jeremy’s heart almost stop.

“I don’t know, Jeremy, this bet says otherwise,” He heard Brooke say. Jeremy scoffed fakely, rolling his eyes.

“As if. This bet only shows I’m stronger than Michael,” He had a large grin on his face as he turned to Michael, who had one eyebrow raised.

“You sure about that, Miah? Because I’m pretty damn sure I’m stronger than you,” Michael Challenged.

“Says you, shortie!” Jeremy said, no real heat in his voice. Michael gasped fakely, then half heartedly launched himself at Jeremy, who was laughing. Jeremy fell to the floor with a thud, a Laughing Michael on top of him, and Jeremy was laughing as well. He heard his other friends giggle at their shenanigans, and Rich was almost losing it. Jeremy looked up at his best friend, who was smiling down at him with his signature dazzling smirk, his eyes were bright and warm, hair slightly messy and his glasses were askew, he was breathing heavy and Jeremy could practically how happy his friend felt in that moment. He also felt the way his heart sped up as Michael got closer to his face and how he felt his face slightly heat up.

“I may be stronger than you, Miah, but you were right about one thing. You have one huge heart,” Jeremy felt his heart constrict as Michael smiled at him fondly, and Jeremy couldn’t help but smile back.

“Wow, guys, that’s pretty damn gay,” Jeremy heard Jenna say, earning a few laughs. Jeremy saw Michael’s face go red, and he felt his own face go red as well. His best friend scrambled off his quickly and helped Jeremy up, then sat down at the table.

“Aww, are you guys embarrassed that we called you gay,” Jake said with a playful laugh, Making Michael's lips quirk into a small smile

“Oh come on, guys, give them a break,” Christine chided Jake with a laugh, glancing at Michael. Once the table calmed down some, Michael checked the time, and Jeremy saw the clock read 12:25, almost time for lunch to end. Michael sighed, then looked up at Jeremy.

“Any final requests before we go back to a miserable class?” He asked. Jeremy thought for a minute. He didn’t really need anything, but he didn’t want to let this bet go to waste, even if he had no ideas.

“I dunno, tell me something interesting that I don’t know,” Jeremy said, not really expecting much. Jeremy thought that maybe Michael would tell him about something he read on the news, or some random animal fact, But as Michael looked at Jeremy curiously, he got the feeling he would get something different.

“Mahal Kita,” He said with a certain finality. Jeremy looked at him curiously, and even more so when he heard Christine choke on her drink. Jeremy had heard that term before, Michael has said it to his Mom’s before. Jeremy had always assumed it meant some form of affection, like ‘I appreciate you’ or something like that. He guessed it would make sense that Michael would tell him that, they were best friends, but that’s not what Jeremy asked for? He already knew that Michael appreciated him… unless the word meant something else? What else would it mean, though, Michael says it so much to his mom…

A bell rang loud in the halls, causing a burst of commotion, students moving everywhere. Jeremy repressed a sigh as Michael got up and started to follow Rich towards their next class.

“Bye, Jer!” Michael called as he walked away, and Jeremy waved back.

“Bye, Michah. See you after school,” then Michael was gone.

“Ready for class, Jeremy?” Christine asked in her sweet voice. Jeremy nodded and followed her towards the drama room. They walked in a silence, and it surprised Jeremy how drastically different this was than the day before, the day his squip was being an asshole, the day he felt like utter shit. He liked the change, he hoped it stayed like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoped yall like the fluff, it might not last long,,,,,
> 
> Please leave Kudos and comments! I appreciate them and I reply to all comments if possible!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ooF

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUC K OKAY SO I have procrastinated on this for a whole fucking month and I'm sorry. My excuses:  
> -School fucking sucks  
> -Parents fucking suck  
> -Anxiety fucking sucks  
> -Depression fucking sucks
> 
> ooF also be careful there is a slight trigger warning for this chapter. Also, I hope this is long enough. (it's not but it's something) and rip Jeremy 2k17, I needed to hurt him though.

Jeremy trudged towards Physics tiredly, not wanting to go. Physics was always boring and always seemed like it took 3 hours, no matter what they were doing that day. His only consolation was that Rich was there, but today he didn’t want a confrontation with Rich because Rich  _ knew _ . Rich knew that Jeremy liked Michael, and he was definitely going to ask him about it, because Rich was incredibly stubborn and won’t let anything go. Jeremy sighed as he reached the door and silently prepared himself for the many questions he would probably be asked. He opened the door and walked into the classroom, heading towards where Rich sat idly writing something on a paper. As Jeremy got closer,  Rich looked up and this his face split into a large smirk. Jeremy sighed as he sat down, bracing himself for the worst. 

 

“Well hey there, Jeremy. How are you,” Rich asked innocently, making Jeremy roll his eyes.

 

“Hey, Rich,” he sighed, pulling out his notebook. Jeremy tried to ignore the slight anxiety twisting in his stomach, he knew what was going to happen, and he knew there was no point hiding the fact he had a crush on Michael, but he still felt anxious. 

 

“So, when are you going to ask him out?” rich asked with a smile. Jeremy shrugged. 

 

“I'm not. No point in trying to ruin a friendship over some silly feelings.” Rich raised his eyebrows at Jeremy with an unamused expression. “What?” Jeremy asked, eyebrows creasing. Rich just snorted and laughed quietly.

 

“Oh, Jeremy, you really are Emotionally Nearsighted,” Rich sad sadly.

 

“Rich what the hell does that even mean.”

 

“Jeremy you’re blind as fuck. Open your eyes and see the sexual tension.” Jeremy sighed at his friend and let a small laugh escape.

 

“Uh, Rich, I see what you’re implying and, number one, no. Number two, I could literally say the same thing about you and Jake.” Rich choked on his spit, earning him a few glances from around the room. Rich glared at a laughing Jeremy, earning Jeremy a punch in the arm. Rich huffed as Jeremy laughed even harder.

 

“Shut it, Heere, you and I both know that isn’t going to happen. I mean, yeah, Jake is pan and all, but that doesn’t automatically mean I have a chance. Besides, why would he want me?” Jeremy instantly sobered up and looked at Rich.

 

“Rich, why would you think that? You and Jake are literally best friends. You two have been through everything together?” Rich laughed bitterly as the teacher went up to the front of the class. They had a sub today, and they were supposed to work on some worksheet. After the teacher sat down, Rich looked at Jeremy sadly.

 

“Jeremy, you’re forgetting the most important part. I burnt down Jake’s fucking house, then he broke his legs trying to fucking save me! Even after I fucking,” Rich rubbed at one of his eyes, then sighed. “Jeremy, I don’t deserve someone like Jake, someone who can forgive me for what I’ve done.”

 

“Rich,” Jeremy sad softly, getting rich to look up at him, “Okay, yeah, you’ve made mistakes in your past, but haven’t we all? I know dwelling on the past is an easy thing to do, but, Rich, you’re better now. You’re a good person. I’m not going to force you to ask out Jake, obviously, but I would consider it if I were you.” Rich looked up at Jeremy with wet eyes, and it was sudden to Jeremy that he had never seen Rich cry. Never thought he would, if he was being honest. Jeremy sometimes forgets what Rich  _ had  _ been through, because he kept up such a good mask, and Jeremy wasn’t really sure if that was good. “Rich, I know how hard it is to forgive yourself for the dumb things you’ve done. For the stupid things, you’ve done. I still haven’t forgiven myself if I’m being honest, so I guess this is being hypocritical but, you need to forgive yourself. You made a mistake, and it wasn’t even really  _ you _ . It was some dumb computer in your brain telling you what to do. I think you’re forgetting that, that it wasn’t  _ actually _ you.” 

 

“Have you ever thought of ditching theatre to become a motivational speaker? Because you’d be great,” Rich laughed through tears, “But uh, thank you. I needed that, I think.”

 

“No problem Rich, you would’ve done the same thing for me.”

 

“Damn right I would’ve,” Rich laughed. After this a sort of calm fell over the two, just sitting there in a slight silence, not really doing anything. It was a nice sort of calm, too, not really needing to say anything. They were both just content.

 

Until Rich opened his mouth again, of course.

 

“Hey, I’ve got an idea,” Rich said suddenly, “If I ask out Jake and he says yes, which I highly doubt, will you ask out Michael?” Rich wiggled his eyebrows at Jeremy.

 

“Absolutely  _ not _ . I’m down for you asking out Jake, but uh, no way am I asking out Michael. I already told you I’m not risking  _ thirteen years _ of friendship over some silly crush,” Jeremy says with a certain finality. Rich looks at him, unimpressed.

 

“Listen, Jeremy, by doing this you are A, giving me the confidence to ask out a guy I’ve been pining for since freshman year, and B, giving yourself the chance to not turn your heat towards Michaels obvious gay ass feelings for you. If you don’t do this for yourself, do it for me.” Jeremy sighed.

 

“Okay, so say I  _ hypothetically  _ agree.How soon would I have to ask Michael out?” Jeremy was going to regret this.

 

“At least the same month I ask out Jake.” He is definitely going to regret this.

 

“Fine, I agree.” He is seriously going to regret this.

 

“Great!” He is regretting this. “So, how are you planning on asking out Michael?” Rich wiggled his eyebrows.

 

“How are you planning on asking out Jake?” Rich blanched at that.

 

“Noted.” Just then, the bell rang, signifying that school was /finally/ over. Jeremy sighed as he grabbed his bag and walked out the door, Rich trailing behind him. They walked the crowded halls together until Jake appeared out of nowhere and joined them.

 

“Hey, Rich! Hey, Jeremy!” He said cheerily. Riches face instantly lit up and Jeremy held in a laugh.

 

“Jakey D! You excited for tonight?” Rich asked him. Jakes' eyes lit up, and his curly hair bounced as he nodded his head.

 

“Yeah, totally!” Jake pumped his fist into the air as they walked, and Jeremy caught a glimpse of Riches incredibly fond smile, and he honestly related.

 

“What’re you two doing tonight?” Jeremy asked partly because he was curious, and partly because he didn’t want to be the third wheel. Jake smiled widely.

 

“Rich and I are pulling an all-nighter so we can watch the next season of Voltron! We’ve been waiting for season four for what seems like ages, even if it’s only been two months.” Jake explains animatedly to Jeremy. Jeremy quirks his eyebrow in question.

 

“Voltron is this nerdy ass cartoon Jake loves, weeb,” Rich says fondly, and Jake looks at him, unamused.

 

“Rich, you’re the one who got me into Voltron,” He deadpans. Rich blushes slightly, making Jake smile.

 

“Shut up,” Rich mumbles. Jake laughs at the shorter boy as they reach a corner where Jeremy has to split.

 

“Well, I’ve gotta get to the parking lot, I’m meeting Michael there. See you two later.” Jeremy waves as he starts to walk away.

 

“You better not chicken out, Heere!” He hears the rich call from behind him, and Jeremy smiles.

 

“I could say the same to you, Gordanski!” Jeremy shakes his head as he walks down the chaotic halls, walking side to side, avoiding all the people in his way. He makes his way outside the front of the School and heads towards the student lot, seeing Michael by his car. Michael was leaning against his P.T, eyes closed and face calm and content. Jeremy loved moments like these, seeing Michael look so happy and calm and, fuck it, he looked  _ good _ (Not that he didn’t look good all the time). Jeremy walked up quietly, trying not to disturb his friends peace. He silently places himself next to Michael, just leaning against the car like this was totally natural. They stood there for a few minutes just enjoying the lovely sounds of teenagers driving cars, honking, and cursing at each other. Super peaceful, obviously. Then, Michael opens his eyes and faces Jeremy, a small smile on his face.

 

“Hey, dude. Yours or mine?” Jeremy hummed for a second.

 

“Mine, Dad apparently misses seeing ‘his favorite son’, which honestly I’m just offended. I can’t believe his favorite son isn’t even his actual  _ son _ ” Michael laughed lightly as he removed himself from the car and he started moving round to the driver's side. Jeremy got into the car himself and sat down, buckling his seatbelt. As Michael started up the car He turned to Jeremy.

 

“So, Jer, you want anything before we go to your house?” Jeremy shook his head and Michael looked mildly surprised.

 

“I’ll just force you to jump off a cliff while playing smash brothers or something,” Jeremy said, making Michael shove him playfully, both of them laughing. Michael then proceeds to drive out of the school and towards Jeremy’s house. It was pretty uneventful, music played softly in the background, but they didn’t have much to talk about. That is until they got to Jeremy’s house.

 

“Hey, uh, Jer? Who’s car is that in your driveway? It looks familiar but…?” Jeremy squinted and tried to get a better look at the car, until he recognized it and his gut went cold. He physically felt all the color from his face drain from his face, and he felt his anxiety jump up. He heard Michael shift beside him. “Hey, Jeremy, what’s wrong? Who’s car is it?”

 

“I-It’s uh,” Jeremy stutters, “It’s my uh, my M-mom’s car” Jeremy watched Michael go still, then instantly move to turn the keys to his car.

 

“I think we should go to my house instead I’ll see yo-”

 

“She’s seen us, we can't back out now,” Jeremy says, making direct eye contact with his mother. He felt everything in him go absolutely cold just looking at the woman in the window, Aburn hair framing her face, blue eyes piercing. He gulped. “She’s expecting us to get out.” He said quietly, mostly to himself. Michael looked at him, face filled with concern. “Michael, I’m scared.” His voice was so quiet, and the side of his face was starting to burn with memories. He couldn’t breathe.

 

“Jeremy, we don’t have to,” Michael says quiet, calm, trying not to scare Jeremy. Jeremy’s breathing was shallow as he shook his head and opened the car door.

 

“But we do.” Everything felt slow motion as he got out of the car and walked towards the front door. Through the window, he saw his mom get up and go towards the door, her hair sweeping behind her. Michael is standing next to him and Jeremy thinks he is talking but he can’t really tell, everything is mixing together. The door opens as he gets to the porch and his mom stumbles out and hugs him. He thinks she is apologizing, but all he can hear is the beating of his heart. He sees his dad at the door, and he looks absolutely  _ petrified _ when he sees Jeremy. Then his mom is being pried off him and his Dad is standing in front of him, and he is being asked questions. Then he feels someone grab his wrist and he is being dragged away. Jeremy wants to fight back but he can’t, so he allows himself to be dragged across the yard and sat in a car. Someone, he assumes Michael, leans across him and straps him in, and soon they’re driving away, his mom is in the distance and is yelling at his Dad. Then she slaps him right across the face and Jeremy sees his dad flinch and then he breaks. He feels hot tears fall down his face and he is shaking and he can’t breathe everything is suffocating, the only thing going through his mind is _ whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy _ and he doesn’t know what's happening but he knows that he is drowning in tears and his head hurts, and so does his heart. He only hears the beating of his heart still, it’s beating so so fast and it’s so  _ loud _ and this only scares him. Suddenly his door is being opened and he didn’t know they had stopped. Michael is gently pulling him out of the car and then Jeremy is being pulled into a hug. He buries his face into Michael’s hair since Michael was short, and he just  _ cries _ . He cries and cries and cries, but his hearing is finally coming back and he hears that Michael is talking to him quietly, and he is running his hands through Jeremy’s hair soothingly and Jeremy feels how weak he feels, and he notices that he is breathing quickly and he is hiccuping. He wraps his arms tighter around his best friend, and Michael hugs back arms firm and grounding. Then everything overwhelms Jeremy in a different way and he lets out a very ugly and pathetic sob into the quiet air. Michael nods his head slowly and he picks up the pace of his hands in Jeremy’s hair.

 

“Shh, I know, I know, Jer. Just let it all out. It’s gonna be okay,” Michael assures quietly, and Jeremy nods, even though he doesn’t believe Michael. Jeremy is so tired and he doesn’t think he has the energy to talk, but he somehow finds it in him to say one simple word.

 

“ _ Why _ ” He croaks out, his voice raspy from crying. His voice breaks and that one single word heald so many questions that he hoped Michael could hear.  _ Why me? Why her? Why did she come back? Why did my dad let her come back? Why does she feel the need to fuck up everything? Why can’t my life go right for once? Why now? Why when I’m finally feeling better, like I’m recovering? _

 

“I’m not sure, Jer,” Michael said into his chest and Jeremy knows that that’s the only answer there is. Neither of them knows why, and Neither of them knows how to fix it. God, this hurt him so much. He wished he had a time machine so he could go back to this morning when things were fine and his only problems were being late to class and liking someone. He wished that his life could be that easy for the rest of time, not have to deal with his bullshit panic attacks, anxiety, and mother. But apparently, life can’t be that fucking easy, apparently. This just made Jeremy make a very pathetic sound that sounded vaguely like a puppy being kicked.Michael then removed himself from Jeremy’s shoulder and held Jeremy's face back to get a look at him. Michaels' face was worn with worry, his hair was a mess, his glasses were pressed against his face, and his brown eyes were filled with about 17 different emotions and Jeremy couldn’t pick out any of them.

 

“Hey,” Michael said, incredibly soft,”Why don’t we go back to my place, yeah? You can go ahead and fall asleep on my bed, and I’ll make a lunch/dinner thing, alright? Maybe my Mom and Ina will be home and they can take us out for ice cream or something,” Michael looked at Jeremy expectantly, and honestly, that sounded like the best thing in existence right now, so he nodded slowly. Michael smiled lopsided, and fixed his glasses as he lead Jeremy to the car. Jeremy sat down slowly and buckled up as Michael closed the door lightly as he could. Jeremy watched Michael walk around the car, muttering to himself until he got into the car. He started the car silently and glanced at Jeremy worriedly like he might fall apart at any moment, which is incredibly likely.Currently, Jeremy wasn’t fraying at the edges, he was full on unraveling, falling apart piece by piece.

 

Honestly, he doesn’t even know how to handle this, he hadn’t felt like this since…

 

“Jeremy, Your phone is going off,” Michael says quietly Surely enough Jeremy hears the Mario theme playing in 8-bit. He slowly takes his phone out of his pocket and picks up, pulling the Phone to his ear.

 

“JEREMY, HOLY SHIT GUESS WHAT,” He hears Riches voice loud over the phone. Jeremy laughs very weakly and replies quietly.

 

“Mmm, What?” He asks. He practically  _ hears _ Rich bouncing up and down on the other side of the line.

 

“OKAY SO,” He starts off, “So we made the bet during 6th right? Okay so I’m sitting here with Jake right now and we were re-watching the first season of Voltron so we can get ready for season four. Really good show by the way! Anyways, so since we are staying up all night Jake decided to take off his contacts and put on his glasses and oh damN,” Rich takes a large breathe as Jeremy raises an eyebrow, “I don’t know if you know this, but holy shit Jake looks good in glasses. Anyways, uh, I’m gonna try and ask him out when he comes back from the bathroom so get yourself ready to ask out Michael bro.” Rich concluded. Jeremy’s eyes widened, and if he had the energy he would have probably choked on his own spit.

 

“Oh,” was all he said. The line went quiet for a few seconds until rich finally spoke again.

 

“Somethings up.” He stated with a certain finality, and Jeremy let out a weak laugh.

 

“Uh, yeah, that’s one way to put it,” he says. Michael glances at him as they hit a stop light. “I’ll uh,” Jeremy weighed his options, “Maybe ask me later, but uh, I don’t really know uh, if, uh-” 

 

“Hey, Jeremy, you don’t have to tell me,” Rich said seriously. Jeremy let out a soft sigh of relief. “Oh, shit, Jakes coming back I’ve gotta go. Wish me luck bro!” and Rich hung up. Jeremy raised an eyebrow as he took the phone away from his ear.

 

“Who?” Michael asked him once he put his phone away.

 

“Rich. He is  _ finally _ asking out Rich on a bet between him and I. I just hope he goes through with it. If he calls then it probably did.” Jeremy said. Michael laughs as they turn a corner.

 

“What’s the bet?” Michael asks curiously. Jeremy feels something hit him, and his first thought is  _ fuck _ .

 

“Erm,” he says intelligently, “If he asks out Jake then I have to, uh, do his physics work for a week,” Jeremy says, hoping Michael doesn’t see through his lie. Michael, thankfully, takes the bait though and doesn’t question. As Michael drives on and they continue to sit in silence, Jeremy feels his eyes go heavy. God was he exhausted from today. He hadn’t expected this day to be so… taxing. They soon reached Michael’s home and Jeremy heads straight for Michael’s bedroom. Once his head hits the pillow, he is out like a light.

***

Jeremy awoke with a headache, dry throat, and an empty stomach. He feels fine for about point five seconds until the events of the day came crashing over him like a wave, and then he felt himself start to panic. Breathe, Jeremy, it’ll be  _ fine _ . He looked around for his phone, finding it on Michael’s bedside table. He had a bunch of texts from Rich, Jake, and Christine.

 

**Mnt. Dew Bitch**

 

Jeremy holy s h i t

 

Okay one, I told jake

 

I like him

 

And uh,,,

 

I’m dating him now,,,,

 

So that’s kinda a thing,,,

 

And I am 

 

Y E L L I N G

 

Jeremy shook his head with a laugh and moved onto Jake's similar texts.

 

**Pan With A Plan**

 

Jeremy

 

Jeremy

 

Jeremy

 

THANK G O D

 

Rich fucking

 

Finally

 

Asked me out

 

And he told me there is a bet?

 

Idk what actually happened?

 

But I know you owe something?

 

Also, you good? Rich told me smthn happened?

 

Lastly, Christine texted one text.

 

**Play Rehearsal Gal**

 

Jeremy? Michael told me something happened and you aren’t feeling well? I’m not sure what happened but if you need to talk I’m here <3

 

Jeremy smiled, it was really refreshing to be able to read texts from his friends. It was something normal that happened every day, it was a constant thing he appreciated. He heard the door to the room open, and he looked up to see Michael. Michaels face flooded with relief when he saw Jeremy sitting there on his phone, and Michael launched himself to hug Jeremy. Jeremy smiled and hugged his best friend back.

 

“Hey,” Jeremy said with a smile. Michael laughed lightly.

 

“Hey, so,” he moved his face from Jeremy’s shoulder, “I talked to Mom and Ina. You can stay as long as you need Here. We also talked to your Dad and told him you were alive. He told us to keep you Here for a week, then you can come back whenever you’re ready,” Michael said quickly. Jeremy smiled lightly and hugged Michael again.

 

“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes I hope you liked. Also, I forced my Jake headcanons on yall bc its great


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay can we ignore the fact I haven't updated in 2 months? Okay. Anyways
> 
> Michael pov??? In MY Jeremy angst fic?? More likely than you'd think. (I just really wanted to write some Pining!Michael again okay.)

Michael paced the kitchen anxiously waiting for his parents while keeping a  _ very _ close eye on Jeremy. This day had been something for sure and Michael couldn’t decide if it was a good something or a bad one. The day had started off pretty nice, despite the waking up late and having a mini-crisis because he had woken up atop his best friend. The whole crisis thing continued itself during lunch because his gay ass couldn’t contain the heart eyes half the time, then he literally  _ confessed _ to Jeremy that he was in love with him and Jeremy  _ didn’t even notice _ . The only one who had noticed was Christine because Michael had taught her a bit of Tagalog. Then after school Jeremy’s, biological birth giver showed up and completely fucked Jeremy up. (Michael refused to call her a  _ mother _ . She did not deserve that term after all the bullshit she has done)

God, Michael was a disaster. He was having a hard time not letting Jeremy know how fucking worried he was, but it was really hard since his instinct right now was to sit next to Jeremy and hug him for eons upon eons in attempt to make him feel better. He didn’t even understand what Jeremy had ever done to  _ deserve _ all this bull shit, and Michael just wanted to protect Jeremy from all this. Since he couldn’t do that, though, he had opted for convincing his parents to take him and Jeremy out for dinner. Both his mom’s agreed eagerly once they had heard what happened, and they both promised to be home as soon as possible. He was really thankful that his Ina already knew most of what had happened in the past so that  _ she _ could explain it to his Mom, because Michael wasn’t sure he could explain it without wanting to punch something, and it hadn’t even happened to him. Michael couldn’t even imagine what Jeremy must be feeling right now and he really doesn’t want to, even if that makes him seem like a bad friend.

Michael glanced into the living room from where he was stationed in the kitchen. Jeremy was sitting on the couch lazily watching a Disney movie, his hair was kinda messy and he was bundled up in a blanket. As Jeremy watched the movie, he giggled at a joke he had heard a million times and,  _ fuck _ , Michael's heart did that weird thing where it hurt because something was too cute. No, no now was not the time to have a Crisis™, he had to focus on keeping his friend safe. Yet, he couldn’t help but smile fondly  at his friend, because Jeremy looked so content and calm even after the shit show he experienced. Maybe it was just a facade, but damn it made Michael happy to see him look so happy. Call him sappy, but this was probably the prettiest sight to Michael, a happy best friend.

A car pulled into the driveway and Michael jumped, racing towards the window. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw his Mom’s car pull up, her and Ina chatting. Michael smiled as he made his way towards the living room and plopping himself on the couch next to Jeremy.

“Yo, parents are here. You ready to get food,” Michael asked. Jeremy’s lips quirked up as he looked down at Michael with what could only be described as heart eyes (Michael’s heart was racing at the sight, but Jeremy didn’t need to know that).

“Thank you, again,” Jeremy said quietly as Michael’s parents walked in. Michael smiled widely.

“No prob’ Jer.” Michael got the overwhelming urge to kiss Jeremy, but as soon as the thought came up he pushed it far,  _ far  _ away. He didn’t need to impulsively ruin his friendship. From behind him, Michael heard his Ina snicker under her breath and he turned to see both his parents watching him with an amused smile. Sometimes he hates how close he and his parents are.

“Alright, Lovebirds, I’m going to take a shower real quick and then we can go to dinner,” His ina said. Michael’s face was  _ burning _ , but he smiled and nodded, trying to make himself seem calmer than he actually was. His Mom was trying really hard not to laugh, he could tell, but she wasn’t doing too well. Michael tried to give them an angry, or even unimpressed look, but he guessed his face was too red for it to be effective. His Ina walked off down the hall laughing lightly and his Mom went into her office. From behind him, Jeremy coughed awkwardly and Michael tried his best to suppress an awkward laugh as he turned around to see his friends face cherry red. Michael would have to talk to his parents later about this because he did not like how awkward this made Jeremy.

“Hey, uh, Michael. So, like, I know this is a weird request but, uh,” Jeremy was mumbling and if Michael wasn’t so used to Jeremy being worried he probably wouldn’t understand a word, “It’s just we’re going out and I probably look god-awful and I was wondering if I could borrow a jacket?” Michael had to bite his lip so he didn’t smile like a damn idiot.

“Jeremiah Heere, you are literally my best friend. Obviously, you can borrow a jacket.” Jeremy smiled at this and got up to follow Michael into his room. Jeremy instantly headed for the bed and plopped himself down, legs criss-cross. Michael rummaged around in his closet looking for a jacket that would actually fit Jeremy. Michael was quite a bit shorter, but Jeremy was an actual beanpole, so Michael’s only real concern was it being too short. Michael finally settled on his creeps sweatshirt and he tossed it at Jeremy’s face. Jeremy made a small exasperated sound and Michael laughed to try and hide a very fond sound that wanted to escape him. He really needed to get himself together, he thought as he turned around. 

“Thanks, Micah, you’re honestly the best,” Jeremy said as he pulled his head through the sweater. Michael hummed.

“I know I am you dweeb,” Michael said with a smile. Jeremy laughed in response, pulling his arms through the sleeves. “Does it fit?”

“Surprisingly enough, yes. I didn’t think it would since you’re so damn short,” Jeremy said, amusement clear in his voice.

“Hey! I’m really not  _ that _ short,” Michael argued. Jeremy laughed again, shaking his head. Michael pouted.

“Hate to break it to you dude, but you’re short.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault you’re just a fucking beanpole,” Michael laughed as Jeremy threw a pillow at him from across the bedroom. Michael smirked as he picked up the pillow that was just thrown at him, and instantly threw it back at his best friend. Jeremy gasped over-the-top as the pillow hit him in the face, then fell limply into his lap. This resulted in the two just throwing pillows back and forth at each other’s faces while giggling. As they were having fun, Michael heard a soft laugh from behind him so he turned to face his door, adjusting his glasses. From in the doorway, his Mom was standing there smiling, her arms loosely crossed. Michael smiled up at her and waved.

“Sup,” He said to her, making her crack a smile.

“You boys ready to go? Ina is almost ready,” she said. Michael nodded, then looked back at Jeremy, who was also nodding. Michaels mom raised an eyebrow. “Jeremy, hon, you might want to fix your hair or something before we leave, unless you want it sticking up all over the place,” She mused. Jeremy smiled sheepishly.

“Oh, uh, yeah. Thanks, Mrs.Mell,” he said awkwardly.

“Jeremy, please, call me Mom. I’ve known you for god knows how long, and you calling me Mrs.Mell just makes me feel old,” Michael’s Mom said with a laugh. She then mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like ‘I’ll probably be your Mom at some point anyhow’, and Michael  _ seriously _ hoped that Jeremy hadn’t heard.

“Okay, uh, Mom?” Jeremy sounded uncertain. “That might take awhile to get used to? Uh, sorry.” Michael’s Mom smiled softly.

“It’s okay, don’t sweat it, kid. Now go brush your hair and let's get to dinner. Not sure about you boys, but I’m starved,” she said merrily, then walked off down the hall. As soon as she left, Jeremy threw the pillow at Michael one last time, breaking into a fit of laughter. Michael sighed, but a smile was present on his face.

“Thanks for that, Jer. You’re  _ such _ a great best friend,” Michael deadpans. Jeremy just rolls his eyes as he gets up off the bed.

“I know, right?” Jeremy rummaged around on the top of Michael’s dresser, finally finding the brush. Jeremy combed his unruly hair so that it wasn’t as disastrous, then turned on his heel towards the door.

“Jeremyyyyy,” Michael whined fakely, “Help me up, my poor old lazy ass can’t get up.” Jeremy laughed, shaking his head as he walked towards Michael. Jeremy stuck his hand out in Michael's face. As soon as Michael grabbed Jeremy’s hand he slightly regretted it because Jeremy’s hand felt nice in his and it was warm and comforting and right after it left Michael felt the familiar feeling of  _ don’t get hopeful, it’ll only make it worse _ . Michael then proceeded to push that feeling deep  _ deep _ down and walked out of the house and jumped into the car. The ride to the restaurant was pretty uneventful, nothing had really happened besides a small debate on where to go for dinner. In the end, they all ended up going to a small burger joint near his house that was usually pretty quiet. Not many people went there because it was so under the radar, but Michael and his family loved it there and went there all the time, meaning Jeremy usually went there too. As they drove down there, Jeremy was particularly quiet. Most people wouldn't have realized it, but Michael knew Jeremy far too well to not notice it, and it was slightly concerning. 

See, when Jeremy was around people he didn't know very well or isn't super fond of, he will get quiet and awkward, and won't talk much. On the other hand, if Jeremy is around close friends such as Michael, he practically never runs out of things to say whether it's about video games or a random animal fact, he likes talking to Michael. So the fact that he wasn't really talking and he was just looking out the window was worrying Michael probably a little too much. The rational part of him knew he was probably overthinking it, but he also knew how sensitive Jeremy can be about his birth giver. But also, Jeremy had every reason to be sensitive about it, she was absolutely evil.

When Michael and Jeremy met, she was fine. They were in kindergarten then and she seemed like the sweetest person ever to 5-year-old-Michael. As they got older, though, things started to change. It was 5th grade, she and Mr.Heere had started fighting. It started out once a month at most and it did scare Jeremy a bit because he had never seen his parents fight, but he was later assured by Michael that it was normal for parents to fight. Then, by the time they were in 7th grade, Mr.Heere and Jeremy’s mom were fighting every night and it scared Jeremy shitless. Jeremy avoided home almost as much as possible and usually stayed at Michael’s house. One week, though, Michael and his Moms went on a vacation to the Filipinos to visit family, so Jeremy had to stay home. The best friends had promised to skype every night, to make sure Jeremy was sane mostly. One night Jeremy never picked up, which was deeply worrying, to say the least. Jeremy didn’t pick up for the next two nights, until that Friday, he finally did. When Jeremy’s face showed up on the screen, Michael was faced with the worst he had ever seen his best friend. He was crying, his hair looked like it hadn’t brushed in a week, he looked absolutely mortified, he was shaking, and he looked noticeably pale.

“S-sorr-y,” Jeremy had stuttered, a small hiccup escaping, “I want-ted to p-pick up. B-but M-mom-” Tears had welled up in Jeremy’s eyes at the mention of his mom. After some talking and calming down, Michael soon learned that Jeremy witnessed his Mom beat his Dad. Michael had been so baffled because, despite all the fighting, Jeremy’s Mom had been relatively nice. She bought Jeremy loads of things, she never acted rudely towards Michael or Jeremy. Yet, this kept happening. Almost every other night Michael found Jeremy outside of his door, running away from home to escape his Mom. Then, one night over the summer, Michael had gotten a call from Jeremy. This had become pretty normal, so Michael didn’t worry any more than he usually did. That was, until Mr.Heere’s voice quiet yet panicked started telling Michael to call 911 and to get his ass over to their house as fast as possible. Needless to say, Michael panicked, but did as he was told, then told his Moms. When he reached the Heere household and walked inside to find Jeremy on the floor, face covered in blood.

Apparently, Jeremy had caught his Mom drunk and it hadn’t ended well, so say the least. All she had really done was broke his nose, but it was still unforgivable, and Mr.Heere finally had the courage to call the police on his wife. That was the last time Michael and Jeremy both had ever seen the devil woman until today. Michael had no idea how she had come back, and he isn’t sure he  _ wants _ to know.

“Michael? We’re here,” Jeremy’s voice startled Michael back into reality, making him jump. Jeremy’s blue-green eyes looked at him intensely, worry swimming there. “Hey, dude, you okay?” Michael nodded and started to move out of the car.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just, ya know, thinking and stuff,” Jeremy furrowed his eyebrows but nodded as he got out of the car behind Michael. They quietly walked into the restaurant and headed towards the corner booth in the back while Michael’s parents ordered their food. Jeremy sat down silently and fiddled with the sleeves of his cardigan tiredly. Michael slid in next to him and sat as close as he dared, until Jeremy moved himself closer and put his head on Michael’s shoulder. Michael tried not to tense up from surprise, tried his best to play it cool and not like he was flustered by the slight bit of contact. Michael was mostly surprised that Jeremy trusted him this much. When they were younger, Jeremy had avoided almost all contact and flinched whenever someone moved too fast, even before the incident. It took him almost a year after the incident to let Michael have as much contact as they have now. Yet today, even after the she-devils showing up, Jeremy is still leaning against Michael. It was so reassuring and comforting for Michael, and probably for Jeremy as well. After a few minutes of them sitting like this, Michael finally found it in him to lay his head on top of Jeremy’s. Once his head hit Jeremy’s, Jeremy flinched slightly, making Michael move his head quickly. He was about to apologize when Jeremy spoke.

“No, it’s okay. You just startled me.” Michael nodded and slowly let his head fall back down. Michael felt Jeremy relax next to him as he took out his phone and started to reply to texts. Soon Michael’s Moms came back with drinks for the two of them. Mom looked like she was about to comment about the two boys cuddling, but Michael shot her a look before she could, and she thankfully got the message and both parents sat down silently. The four of them sat in a silence for what felt like forever. Both Michael’s Moms didn’t know what to say, so that left Michael to start up a conversation. He was at a loss for words until a thought struck him.

“Hey, Jeremy,” Michael said, making Jeremy move his head from the crook of Michael’s neck, “It hasn’t been 24 hours yet, right? Which means that I still have to do whatever you say.” Jeremy’s mouth quirked into a small, thankful smile. Michael could tell Jeremy was thanking him for making it not awkward.

“Yeah, you do,” Jeremy said with a small laugh, running his hands through his hair, “What else should I make you do?”

“What are you guys talking about,” Michael’s Ina asked. Jeremy smiled as he looked down at Michael.

“Michael and I made a bet last night. Basically whoever lasts longer during a Disney movie gets to ask the other one to do whatever they want for 24 hours,” Jeremy explained, “Mikey here lost, so he has to do whatever I want,” Michael huffed and rolled his eyes playfully, making Jeremy laugh. Michael’s Moms laughed right along with him, so Michael pouted fakely.

“You guys are all so mean,” he whined. Jeremy laughed and elbowed him lightly on the side.

“You know we’re joking. We all love you,” Jeremy said with a laugh. Michael ignored the skip in his heartbeat and the knowing look of is Moms.

“Yeah, I know. I love you to dork,” Michael wished Jeremy knew the depth of his words, but he knew now wasn’t the time. Seemed like it was never the time, lately. He had come so close to confessing so many times this past month, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“Bacon burger, no lettuce or tomato?” The waiter called out a meal suddenly.  Jeremy raised his hand awkwardly, signifying it was his meal and Michael chuckled lightly.

“Weirdo, you and your lettuceless and tomatoless burgers,” He said lightly. Jeremy rolled his eyes as he took his meal.

“Well at least I like real sauce on my burgers,” Jeremy fired back

“Wow, hey,” Michael turned towards Jeremy, “Ketchup and mustard are real sauces.”

“Okay, but thousand island.”

“Thousand island is disgusting.”

“Okay, excuse you,” Jeremy said, “Thousand island tastes better than mustard and ketchup mixed together.” Michael gasped and was about to fire something back when his mom spoke up.

“Do you two need to have this argument almost every time we come here? Can’t we all agree that Michael is weird for his sauce choices and Jeremy is weird because he doesn’t like lettuce,” She said almost exasperatedly. Jeremy sighed and took a bite out of his burger, nodding. Soon enough, the only sound at their table was their chewing and drinking. They soon finished their food and they were leaving the restaurant. They were all about to get into the car when Jeremy grabbed Michael’s arm.

“Dude, Can you buy me a Slurpee? I’m in the mood for something cold,” Jeremy said, Looked at Michael with a smile. Michael sighed.

“Well I kinda have to, don’t I? Let’s go you dweeb Be right back Mom and Ina,” Michael threw the last part behind him and Jeremy dragged him forwards towards the 7/11. Michael laughed lightly as Jeremy pulled him inside the 7/11 and straight towards the Slurpee machine. Jeremy grabbed two large cups and handed one to Michael.

“I’m assuming you’re going to need this?” Michael sighed as he grabbed the cup from Jeremy’s hand and a lid.

“Jeremy Heere, you are going to be the death of me.”

“Mmmmmm,” Jeremy hummed, “Yeah but you love me anyway,” He said matter of factly while pouring his Slurpee.

“Yep,” Michael said shortly. Once the two were done pouring their drinks, they went up to the counter to pay. Michael got his wallet out of his back pocket as the guy rung up the two drinks and the package of pringles Jeremy had somehow managed to sneak up there. The ringing them up kept eyeing them strangely, and it was starting to make Michael uncomfortable, and he could tell Jeremy felt the same way as he kept edging closer to the smaller boy. The guy sighed as he handed them their things.

“Sorry, I probably seem weird eyeing you two like that,” He said awkwardly, “just, uhm, you two are a really cute couple and all,” Jeremy, who had been taking a sip of his Slurpee, choked and Michael laughed awkwardly. The guy looked at them curiously. “You two are dating?” He asked. Michael bit his lip and shook his head, face heating up quickly. Jeremy coughed from behind him.

“Uhm, No We aren’t dating. Just best friends,” He said awkwardly. The guy behind the counter smiled anxiously.

“Oh, uh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to assume,” He said quickly.

“No, no. It’s fine, really,” Michael said despite how fast his heart was beating at the moment. The guy nodded uncertainly.

“Okay well, have a nice night.” “You too,” Michael said as he and Jeremy walked out. Both of them pointedly avoided any questions about why the two suddenly looked incredibly anxious as they drove home.

Not the worst thing someone has said about him and Jeremy though, Michael though. He just hoped Jeremy felt the same.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well fuck, that's a lot of angst after such a long hiatus. See also: Miscommunication hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ THIS: So, I took a break (Obviously). I was having a really hard time while writing this and I was in a really bad place mentally and I just,,, couldn't do it. But I am finally happy with my writing again and I'm feeling a lot better now. So yeah, I am sorry I took such a long time to write this, but I needed this break a lot. Thank you for understanding and Thank you for reading!  
> also, I wrote basically all of this in one night minus the first like 3 paragraphs, are you proud? So much is happening in this chapter, so I'm sorry if it's a bit short.

Jeremy walked into the Mell household, stomach full of food. He was smiling at something Michael's Mom had said but he wasn't really paying attention. His mind was filled to the brim with just thoughts thought thoughts and everything was slowly crashing down on the inside but he didn't want to let the others know that. Jeremy was perfectly fine and he could handle this on his own and he didn't want pity from Michael and his family. He just had to survive this one week at Michael's house and then things would go back to normal. 

Staying at Michael's house was a whole other problem, though. Yes, Jeremy hung out with Michael a  _ lot _ , but the fact that he has to live with Michael for a week is… getting to his head. He couldn't just go home and escape if he needed to when the SQUIP acted up, and he couldn't exactly escape his feeling now either, could he. The longest he had ever stayed at Michael’s consecutively was two weeks, but that was when they were twelve years old before the SQUIP and his bisexual epiphany (Bipiphany?). Honestly, Jeremy would give just about anything to go back to the easy days of being twelve.

Except he wouldn’t because he really did love whatever it was that’s happening with Michael right now.

God damn life was confusing and it was just making Jeremy more tired. He needed sleep.

“Hey, Jer,” Michael started as they broke off from Michael’s parents and up the stairs, “You up to a game or two of Mario Kart?” Jeremy felt the edges of his mouth quirk into a smile, but he could tell it wasn’t enough to convince Michael of anything because he furrowed his eyebrows, searching the taller boy’s face. Jeremy tried not to flinch under Michael’s gaze, but it was hard when everything was going on in his head at once and all he wanted was to hide under a mound of blankets for five years and maybe cry.

_ Oh Jeremy, you’re so weak. This is why you need me _

Jeremy’s eye widened as the SQUIP materialized next to Michael. They hadn’t been strong enough to do that since the play.

_ Look at you _ The SQUIP’s voice rang loudly in Jeremy’s head  _ In love with your best friend and to wimp to go home because Mommy came back. This is why she left you, Jeremy, because you just can’t do anything right. _

“Leave me alone,” Jeremy whispered almost inaudibly. The SQUIP rolled their eyes and smiled maliciously while Michael’s face changed from confusion to fear, grabbing Jeremy’s wrist and dragged him up the stairs.

_ Oh? So what, you’re just gonna depend on HIM to save you? _ the SQUIP mocked.  _ How disgustingly adorable. Too bad it won’t work _

Jeremy was only partially aware of the fact he was stumbling up the stairs and Michael still dragging him along, babbling. He was  _ very _ aware of the SQUIP following him, their body becoming more apparent every minute.

_ You can’t get rid of me Jeremy, not actually. You can weaken me with your soda, but I will always be here in your brain. Watching. Waiting. Getting stronger. _

“Please,” Jeremy hoarsely whispered, “Just leave me alone.”

The SQUIP scoffed.

_ Fine _ , They smiled mockingly  _ I’ll leave you to your “Best friend” and your hopeless feelings for him  _ Their smile turned sour as Jeremy shook his head

“That’s not-”

_ Not true?  _ They laughed  _ Jeremy, you can’t lie to me. Your feelings for this Michael is hopeless, depressing even, but they are very real and by my calculations aren’t going away anytime soon  _ Jeremy’s hands balled into fists, nails digging into his palm. SQUIP smiles in faux sorrow.

_ Aww, was I too honest with you? Did I hurt your feelings?  _ They rolled their eyes, expression going cold  _ You deserve it. What a disgrace. _ Jeremy felt himself tremble and his eyes burned with tears. He had no idea where Michael had gone either and his knees felt weak and he had no idea where he was, vision too blurry to even see properly.

_ Even in a state of panic, you think of him  _ The SQUIP laughed bitterly, nose scrunching up,  _ How fucking pathetic. Why did you ever get rid of me? _

“Because,” Jeremy’s voice wavered, “Because you’re toxic to me and you tried to take over the fucking school,” 

_ Right, a defect in my system. _

“A defect,” Jeremy said absently. “Yeah, just a fucking defect that you tried to take over the whole school,” He laughed hollowly, “Right, of course! That just makes it  _ all _ better doesn’t it!” 

_ Your sarcasm is uncalled for, Jeremy. _ Jeremy ran a hand through his hair and laughed again.

“Oh? Is it? Well, I’m just so fucking  _ sorry _ that I’m pissed at some fucking computer in my brain has manipulated me and had caused me pain and made me leave my only friend for-”

_ I was helping you! _ The SQUIP looked infuriated,  _ You bought me so that I could get you a girl and that’s what I did! And then what did  _ YOU _ do when I helped you? Turned it down! _ Jeremy felt anger bubble up inside him.

_ Oh, right, be angry at me for trying to do what you ask of me! _ Jeremy was trembling again but this time it was from anger rather than fear.

“Leave me ALONE!” He yelled it, and the SQUIP looked at him with a mixture of pity and hatred.

_ Fine. _ with that, they disappeared and Michael re-appeared at the exact same time. They’d blocked Michael from his view, of course.

“Jeremy?” Michael was searching his face frantically, his hands on Jeremy’s shoulders. As Jeremy focused on his friends face, he was hit with a wave of exhaustion and his knees buckled under him making him fall down onto Michael, who thankfully caught him. “Holy shit, woah,” Michael said as he dragged Jeremy towards a bed, setting him down lightly as possible. As soon as Michael sat down next to him, Jeremy instantly grabbed his friend and pulled him into a bone-crushing hug and Michael made a surprised sound as he buried his head into the crook of Michael’s neck.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Michael said softly as he snaked an arm around Jeremy and put another in the taller boy’s hair, “I’m here, don’t worry. I’m not leaving any time soon.” Jeremy nodded his head, still not moving it from the shorter boy’s neck. They sat like that for what felt like eons, their breathing slow, Michael’s hand running through Jeremy’s hair in silence, them just hugging each other. Only when Jeremy stopped shaking did Michael speak again.

“Hey,” He said quietly, “You good?” Jeremy nodded and finally moved his head to look at his friend.”Can I ask what happened,” Michael asked cautiously? Jeremy took a deep breath and nodded slowly.

“Uhm,” He started shakily, “The SQUIP, they are, uh, they’re stronger. They can materialize again and-” Jeremy was cut off, not with words, but a kiss. 

Michael’s lips were on his, soft and chaste and sudden and Jeremy’s brain couldn’t even process what was happening when Michael suddenly jolted back, throwing himself off the bed and onto the floor. The two made eye contact, Jeremy’s eyes were wide, but Michael’s were wider and fear and surprise was evident on his face.

“Fuck,” Jeremy heard Michael say quietly, probably to himself more than anyone. “Holy sit, holy shit, holy shiiiiit,” Michael’s voice wavered and was bordering on frantic. Jeremy, on the other hand, couldn’t seem to find his voice. His Thoughts were running a mile a second and he couldn’t differentiate one thought from another, but he somehow managed to speak one singular word.

“Michael,” His voice cracked and sounded surprised, which seemed to snap Michael back into reality. Michael looked him dead in the eyes and he looked so terrified, and Jeremy didn’t know how to tell Michael that it was okay, they were okay, but he couldn't form the words.

“Holy fucking shit, Jer,” Michael glanced around the room seeming to be looking for a way out, avoiding Jeremy all together now. “I am, so sorry holy shit I-” Michael was breathing heavy and Jeremy was still having a hard time forming words in his very dry mouth. Jeremy tried his best, though.

“Michael it’s-”

“Okay?” Michael said incredulously, “No! It’s not! I just kissed you! That is in no fucking way okay! You’re dealing with so much right now and!” Michael was rambling now and he was beginning to talk faster and faster. Jeremy was trying to find the right words, tried to find some way to reassure Michael without giving himself away because it was obviously a  _ joke _ . It had to have been, some sort of impulse to get him to shut up, a dumb miscommunication. Michael probably hadn't even meant anything by it and Jeremy read into it to much like he fucking  _ always  _ did.

“Michael, seriously, I understand,” that got Michael to shut up and look him in the eye, “You didn’t mean anything by it, right?” Michael looked at him, face unreadable. “Just trying to shut me up, right?” Jeremy laughed hollowly, “I get it, it’s fine.” His voice cracked at the last minute and he prayed that Michael didn’t notice. Michael’s face did something confusing before his body finally relaxed.

“Yeah,” he said with a relieved laugh, “You got me. It didn’t mean anything.” Jeremy tried not to notice the way his heart sunk and his throat clogged up. “That’s why I freaked out so much.”

Jeremy hadn’t realized he hadn’t wanted it to be true until Michael admitted to it meaning nothing. He hated how much his heart yearned for that to have meant something,  _ anything _ , but Jeremy wasn’t that lucky, never would be. He knew he didn't have a chance with Michael. Not now, not ever. Especially not after everything Jeremy has done to his best friend.

“Hey Michael, I think I’m gonna head to bed,” Jeremy said quietly, needing space desperately. Michael nodded, face seeming to fall.

“Yeah, yeah, I bet you’re exhausted,” Michael said quietly while getting up from the floor, “I’m gonna go and watch a movie in the living room, kay? Just uh, holler if you need me,” Michael smiled weakly and turned towards the door. “Night, Jer.”

“Night, Micah.” Michael left without another word, and Jeremy was finally alone. Jeremy instantly reached into his pocket where his phone was and pulled it out, opening his messages.

**Queere**

Hey so can I ask you a favor???

**Mnt. Dew Bitch**

He lives

Also yeah totally, what up

**Queere**

Please throw me off a fucking cliff

**Mnt. Dew Bitch**

Oof, no can do

**Queere**

Please rich

Put me out of my misery

**Mnt. Dew Bitch**

What happened?

**Queere**

H A

This is gonna get long so sit tight

**Mnt. Dew Bitch**

Rant away jer

**Queere**

Okay well to start off my mom showed up at my front door today which was

:)))))

And this bitch had the audacity to hit my dad in front of my eyes and ruin my fucking day

And now i’m not allowed in my own home for a week because she wont fucking leave

Then i had a panic attack which was no fun

So like thats all fun and dandy but like it gets worse

Michaels fam took me out to dinner and we just got back and uh

The squip??? Came back??

Like they just fucking

Appeared

And wont leave me the fuck alone and they blocked michael from my vision and they scared me so bad rich holy shit i

I’m fucking terrified

And then michael mightve like

Kissed me

But it didnt mean anything and my heart is like in shatters but its totally fine i mean

Its not like i w a n t e d it to mean anything right?

Fuck

Rich please i’m so ready to launch myself into the sun

**Mnt. Dew Bitch**

Well damn

**Queere**

Ye p

**Mnt. Dew Bitch**

U still at michaels

**Queere**

Um yea??

**Mnt. Dew Bitch**

Do you want me to come over there and pick you up bring you to my place, watch voltron with jake and i?

**Queere**

Thank you but no

Michael thinks im asleep anyhow so

**Mnt. Dew Bitch**

Well then hes in for a surprise because rich is driving over there right now.

He refuses to leave you there with him

**Queere**

Fuck are you serious rn

**Mnt. Dew Bitch**

Sadly

Jeremy sighed and pinched his nose between his eyes. He wasn’t sure what he’s been expecting but it definitely hadn’t been that. Now he has to deal with leaving Michael’s house in a rush at 9 pm with no real explanation. When Rich got there, he heard Michael opening the door and after a few minutes of silence, the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs slowly, hesitantly. When the door opened, Jeremy didn’t look up until Michael sighed.

“Rich told me you didn’t want him to come over but he refuses to leave without you, so.” Jeremy screwed his eyes shut and sighed.

“I’m sorry,” he started, “I just wanted to vent about my mom and the SQUIP since I know Rich’d understand and just…” Jeremy trailed off and left an awkward silence in its wake. “Sorry,” he said again. Michael sighed and looked him in the eyes.

“No its, it’s probably a good idea I,” his face did something complicated, “I messed up when I kissed you, I know that.” Jeremy felt his heart shatter once again and just nodded, not trusting his voice. So, he silently got up and gathered his stuff, pointedly ignoring Michael’s gaze burning holes in the back of his head. When he looked up again, he noticed that behind Michael’s glasses, his eyes were tinted red, if only slightly, and Jeremy felt a wave of guilt wash over him. God, he was such a bad friend. Yet, he couldn’t say anything as he stood there facing Michael, looking down at his tousled hair, dark skin, large black-rimmed glasses, red hoodie and the turn of his lips. As he stood there, facing his best friend of 13 years, the guy whom he’s fallen head over heels for and loves immensely, both platonically and romantically. He couldn’t say a damn word because he was just so overwhelmed with the fact that Michael looked hurt and disappointed and just so worn down, all because Jeremy is just a fucking burden.

Jeremy felt his throat tighten up.

“See you at school tomorrow,” he said quickly, quietly, and then he scurried downstairs and out the front door refusing to make eye contact with Rich or Jake. God, he was so fucking dumb, the squip was right, he was just a fucking disappointment and disgrace to everyone. As soon as all three of the boys were in the car, Jeremy in the backseat, Jake shotgun and Rich in drivers, Rich turned around towards him and sighed.

“Okay,” he said calm, “You’re fine now.” Jeremy nodded as he bit his lip, trying to blink away the tears burning his eyes. Jeremy heard Rich sigh sadly, then heard the sound of someone scrambling over the center console and felt arms wrap around him, tight.

That’s when he broke.

The tears started falling almost instantly and Jeremy let out a choked sob, Rich only hugged him tighter. Jeremy didn’t entirely know why he was crying if he was being honest. Maybe it was the SQUIP, maybe it was his broken heart, maybe it was because Michael was probably pissed at him, maybe it was because his Mom was a bitch and she just happened to show up at the fucking worst times, or maybe it was all of it at once, hell if he knew. All Jeremy knew was that he was sitting in the back of Rich’s car bawling his eyes out and Rich was hugging him tightly and at some point, Jake had grabbed his hand and started rubbing soothing circles into it with his thumb.

Jeremy wasn’t sure how long this lasts, it might've been minutes, might've been an hour. He did know, though, that it very much needed, and that he was dead fucking exhausted.

“Sorry,” Jeremy mumbled as his crying turned into irregular hiccups. Rich stopped hugging Jeremy and then held him at arm's length distance and smiled sadly at him.

“Jeremy,” he said, uncharacteristically soft, “Please don’t be sorry, none of this is your fault.” Jeremy opened his mouth to argue but Jake started talking before he could.

“Please don’t argue,” he said quietly, “Rich is right. Besides,” he added, “If you don’t agree then Rich’ll go on a huge ass rant about how it  _ isn't  _  your fault, and I don’t know if you’ll be able to stay awake for that.” Jeremy laughed weakly as Rich made an offended sound.

“Thank you two, seriously,” Jeremy said, “It uh, it means a lot that you’d come pick me up for dumb reasons like this.”

“Hey,” Jake said, eyebrows furrowing, “I don’t even know what’s going on, but if it’s hurting you this much then it sure as hell isn’t dumb.”

“Plus,” Rich tacked on, “You deserve this since you’ve had a mega shitty day. Now,” Rich said, clapping his hands, “Let’s get you to my place and watch some Voltron, shall we?” Jeremy laughed and nodded his head with a small smile playing on his lips as Rich clambered over the center console and into the driver's seat.

When the engine turned on and they drove out of the Mell’s driveway, Jeremy tried his best to try and relax, because he knew he’d need the rest if he was going to survive the last few days of this week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sorry tbh. Just kidding. I am, I cried writing this.  
> My hand is cramped up from typing and it's like 3am but it's totally worth it because this chapter was so therapeutic to write. ALso? I never planned for this fic to go the way it did but, Here We Are


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some much needed Rich and Christine content + some comic relief because God knows we need that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER IS A FUCKING MONSTER COMPARED TO MY OTHER ONES IT'S BASICALLY 4.9K WORDS AND I USUALLY ONLY DO LIKE 3K HOLY HECCKKKKK Also sorry if the grammar on this chapter isn't as pristine as some of the others, I didn't run it through Grammarly this time because I'm on a mac so,, yeah.
> 
> also side note I made a master doc for this fic to make it easier to send to someone if they want it and like,,, it's 54 pages long. and I still have so much to write holy s h i t.  
> Also I totally d i d n t steal my Christine username from another fic pshhhhh

Rich was, to put it lightly, pretty pissed off. He honestly couldn’t fathom why on earth this shit was happening to his friend. As he looked at Jeremy sitting on his living room couch next to Jake eating Ben & Jerry's ice cream (“It’s for the greater good” Jake had said before giving the last of it to Jeremy) wrapped tightly in a blanket and smiling smally at the TV, Rich knew Jeremy didn’t deserve any of this shit at all. He didn’t understand how people could _hurt_ Jeremy like that. Now, Rich wasn’t attracted to Jeremy, but he would admit that the taller boy was pretty damn adorable whenever he giggled at a silly joke from the TV or when he licked melted the remains of his ice cream off his spoon and he got some on his nose (He could see why Michael liked him so much). How could someone so sweet and almost innocent take so much bullshit from the world and be sad? Sure, Rich didn’t know the full story still, he hadn’t questioned when Jeremy changed the subject to Voltron, but Rich still couldn’t figure one thing out no matter how much he tried. He was determined to find out, though, even if it wasn’t from Jeremy himself.

**BiBiBi**

Hey mike can i ask just,,,, a quick question

Rich hit send and when he didn’t get a response after a minute, he closed his phone and set it on the counter, busying himself with making these cooking Jake and him bought at the store earlier that day. He may not be getting any ice cream, but he'd be damned if he didn’t get some sort of dessert. He has a sweet tooth, sue him. His phone buzzed and the screen lit up as he put the cold squares of dark chocolate dough on a pan and turned on the oven to let it heat up. Rich carefully unlocked his phone, trying not to get grease on the screen (So there might be less dough on the tray then what came with the package) and his phone opened up to his recent texts with Michael and saw a reply there.

**Gay**

Um sure?

Considering youre with jer rn idk whether to be worried or not

**BiBiBi**

Dont worry too much mell im not gonna murder u yet

**Gay**

Yet

**BiBiBi**

Depending on what u say

In all honestly tho what happened between you n jeremy???

**Gay**

Oh

Uh

So i mightve like,,,,,,,,,

Imightvekissedhim??

**BiBiBi**

You ‘might have’ kissed him

Is there more to that or

**Gay**

Jeremy was freaking out and panicking??

And I didn’t know what to do??

And I had the overwhelming urge to kiss him

So like

I did??

And i was gonna play it off saying i was just trying to shut him up or smthn idk

But then i just told him it didn’t mean anything because he asked and???

That was a liE

And now I just feel really bad cause like he was feeling shitty and i used him??

fuck

**BiBiBi**

O h

**Gay**

Ye p

Rich pinched his nose and let out a long sigh, he couldn’t believe this. Except he _could_ because this was just a Jeremy and Michael thing for them to do and Rich wasn’t sure if he was mad at the two or he was just disappointed. Probably both. He was about to set his phone down and join Jake and Jeremy with the Voltron marathon, but he was sent another text but this time, it was from Christine.

**_The Squad Chat:_ **

**Chrissamin roll**

Hey guys! Just checking in to see if everyone is still free Friday evening for movie night? My parents aren’t home this weekend so sleepovers are good too if you wanna stay the night!

Rich smiled and shook his head slightly in amusement. Leave it to Christine to be adorably dorky over text and brighten up any day. Rich watched as more texts rolled in from his friends.

**_The squad chat_ **

**Started with a Whisper**

Yep! See you then

**The Nicer One**

I’ll be there with Chlo!

**Jakey-D <3**

I’m free

**Gay**

Wouldnt miss it for the world Chris

**BiBiBi**

See u all there!

Rich pretended not to notice that Jeremy hadn’t texted anything back. He’d been lurking for a minute or so, Rich knew because his name appeared on the _read by_ list, but his name quickly disappeared after Michael texted. Rich sighed sadly as he made his way into the living room, greeted by a giggling Jake and Jeremy with a triumphant smile.

“What’d I miss?” Rich asked calmly as Jake’s laughter died down. As he walked around the couch into the middle of the living room, he heard Jeremy hum a slightly familiar tune that he thinks was a song that Christine had listened to before. Rich then proceeded to walk towards Jake and plop his ass right down in Jake’s lap, and he revealed in the way Jake’s body tensed up behind him for a second. Jeremy scrunched up his nose in faux disgust at the sight and let out a groan.

“Ew, guys, get a room,” he said to them. Jake laughed and Rich felt the way his chest moved up and down with it. His head still had a hard time wrapping around the thought that Jake was now his boyfriend and his thoughts just kinda consisted of ‘!!!!!’.

“Um, we _are_ in a room,” Jake said matter-of-factly and that only made Jeremy roll his eyes. “Besides,” Rich added, “This is _my_ house and I make the rules around here. So, my rules are that My boyfriend and I are allowed to show PDA around you,” Jeremy laughed lightly, almost sadly, and just shook his head.

“Right, you two are dating after like what, months of pining? What have I done,” Jeremy gave them a flat look and Jake laughed and Rich would bet that his face was probably about as red as his was right now.

“I wouldn’t say _months_ ,” Jake started and Rich turned around and flashed him an unamused look.

“I don’t know about you, dude, but I’ve been pining after you for quite a while now, so Jeremy isn’t wrong,” Jake's face blossomed with red, making Rich smile. Behind him, Jeremy made choking sounds.

“You two are so _gross_ ,” he said, scrunching his nose up.

“If you think this is gross, then you should see us in b-”

“RICH,” Jeremy threw a pillow at his face and Rich laughed so hard he almost fell off the couch. Thankfully, though, Jake caught him and made sure he stayed seated as his laughter died down. “You are the worst, Rich. Why are we friends?” Rich shrugged at the taller boy.

“This reminds me,” Jake started up, “What was the bet? I was never filled in?” At the mention of _the_ bet, Rich watched as Jeremy shrunk into himself slightly and his fists balled into the blanket that was wrapped around his shoulders. Rich couldn’t help but feel sympathetic for him, especially now.

“Well, we might change it,” Rich said slowly making Jeremy look up at him, “Things have since,” Rich tried to think of a good word to describe it, “Changed.” Very descriptive, good job, Rich. Jeremy, to his surprise, shook his head sadly.

“No, no, I don’t wanna change it,” He smiled bitterly, “Let’s just hope it’ll go better than tonight?” Jake, from behind him, made a confused sound at the back of his throat (Which was immensely adorable, by the way). Rich looked at Jeremy, silently asking if he could explain to Jake, and Jeremy just shrugged his shoulders. Good enough for Rich.

“So the bet is, basically, if I asked you out and you actually said yes, Jeremy had to ask out Michael in that same month. But,” Rich sighed, “They both done fucked up and now I’m not so sure if we should follow through.” Jeremy cocked his head in confusion.

“What do you mean ‘we both done fucked up’? How do you even know what happened? Or do you know what happened?” Rich smiled sheepishly at the taller boy.

“Well I mean, you half-explained what happened and it didn’t make sense so I was confused and, well, curiosity killed the cat and,” Rich sighed, “I asked Michael about it,” Jeremy gasped quietly and bit his lip. Rich felt regret fill his stomach leaving him uncomfortable. Damn his curiosity. “If it makes you feel any better,” he started, making Jeremy look up, “It was a huge misunderstanding and it’s not what you think it means,” Michael was so going to kill him for that. Jeremy looked at him with a mixture of emotions on his face; Confusion, fear, hope, heartbreak.

“What,” Jeremy asked, voice almost breaking. Rich could hear hope creeping into his voice and he’d be damned if it didn’t make him sad as fuck. Rich thought hard about his response, a thing he, regrettably, didn’t often do. He could just tell Jeremy the truth, that Michael had impulsively kissed him to try and make him feel better and it did have a deeper meaning than that as well. It was a tempting idea, get the two together, forgive and forget. But was it really the best idea? Looking at Jeremy, who was anxiously shifting and his eyes pleaded for an answer, pleaded for what he _wanted_ to hear, it might not be. Rich wanted to be honest, he did with all his heart, but Jeremy had a lot on his plate right now and he probably didn’t need the weight of his best friend being in love with him added on to it. Rich sighed, he hoped this went well. He got out his phone and texted Christine.

**Bi Bi Bi**

Hey, if michael texts you or w/ever i want you to know in advance that i have jeremy and he’ll be fine.

* * *

 

“Dad, seriously, It’s just for tonight and it’s super important,” Christine begged. Her dad rolled his eyes for what felt like the thousandth time in the past 5 minutes.

“Christine we talk-”

“Why not,” Christine interjected angrily, “Are you afraid I’m going to have sex with him or something? Because, news flash, that isn’t happening! I’m just trying to help him so please let him come over,” Her hands were clenched and her fingernails dug into her palms. God, if only her dad would just _understand_ that Michael really needed her right now. Her dad huffed angrily.

“If you get pregnant, you’re being kicked out,” and with that, he walked away. So much for trying to be civil. Nonetheless, she texted Michael instantly. She had no clue what had happened, but Michael had called her not even ten minutes ago sounding absolutely shattered, almost like he was holding back tears, and told her that he _really_ needed to get out of the house. The call had been alarmingly short and Christine had been deeply concerned, so she instantly went to her parents to convince them to let Michael stay over. That had, obviously, went well, but at least she’s helping out Michael. She anxiously paced the living room, waiting and straining her ears listening for the sound of Michael's old, rundown car. Thuesday nights were generally pretty quiet so it wasn’t hard to pick out the sputtering engine as it pulled into her driveway. Christine rushed out of the house as soon as she heard Michael’s car turn off, but slowed down when she was in his line of sight. Worried be damned, she didn’t want to startle him. When Michael didn’t get out right away, Christine curiously peered through the window of the car, watching quietly as Michael tried to steady his breathing. She approached the car and oh-so-quietly knocked on the window to get his attention. Michael jumped and looked at her wide-eyed and Christine was surprised to see his appearance.

He was trembling, just slightly but enough to be noticeable, tears threatened to fall from his eyes, she could see a few had escaped already. His hair was a disaster, pieces sticking up every which way and the gel that usually coated his hair was only making it worse, half of it had fallen flat on the side of it head. His glasses were sitting on top of his head haphazardly, and from the looks of it they were dirty and tear stained. Michael’s hoodie was rumpled, his face flushed, knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel, and he looked absolutely _terrified_. Christine was very suddenly hit by a wave of mother like worry and she went to open the car door, but it opened itself first. She backed up as Michael slowly made his way out of the old car, shutting the door roughly. Christine was hesitant to move, trying to not freak him out, make him spiral, but Michael collapsed into her arms so suddenly that Christine almost fell over. Michael may have only been three or four inches taller than her, but those few inches meant a lot when she was supporting all his weight.

“Christine, I,” His voice was shaking and he was shaking and, god, Christine would absolutely murder whoever hurt her friend this way, “I fucked up. I fucked up _so_ bad.” Michael was whispering and his eyes were screwed shut like he didn’t want to look at himself, or her, and it broke Christine's heart.

“Hey,” she said to him softly, making him look up, deep brown eyes filled to the brim with tears, “Let’s go up to my bedroom and then we can talk, yeah? I’ll even make some popcorn or something,” Christine smiled at him in hopes of cheering him up. Michael, in return, gave a small, weak, hesitant smile. It wasn’t much, but it was something. Christine quietly lead Michael into her house, taking him down the hall and into her bedroom, and sat him on her bed. She rushed to the kitchen and made a bowl of popcorn, as she promised she would, and then went back to her bedroom, finding Michael laying on her bed. She silently came in and closed the door quietly, then set the popcorn on her bedside table and sat down on the edge of her bed near Michaels' feet.

“Christine, I think I have completely ruined my friendship with Jeremy,” His voice was hollow, devoid of any emotion. Christine knit her eyebrows in confusion.

“Michael, I don’t think that’s possible,” she said carefully, trying to word things correctly, “You’ve been friends for too long and have been through too much for that to even happen.” Michael lifted his head and glanced at Christine, and he looked so exhausted and serious, it almost scared her.

“If anything could fuck it up, it’d be this,” he said flatly, then laid his head back down, staring straight up at the ceiling.

“What what is ‘this’,” Christine asked cautiously. She didn’t want to pry. “I can’t exactly help if I don’t know what happened.” Michael sighed.

“Well,” he started quietly, “You know how I told you Jeremy wasn’t feeling well? Um, well it was because his Mom, uh,” Michael stopped for a second to ponder, “His mom did stuff. I don’t want to go too into it because, well. It’s Jeremy’s thing. Anyway,” he took a deep breath, “Stuff happened and Jeremy just had a generally shitty day.  Then after that fiasco, the squip fucking,” his voice went sour, filled with rage, “It decided that it would be okay to fuck with Jeremy even _more_ and, god, Christine, if you could see his face just then you’d understand. He looked so fucking terrified and angry and sad and it just, it pulled at my heartstrings, you know? I wanted to help him and then I impulsively,” Michael stopped suddenly like he didn’t want to admit to whatever he did out loud. Christine waited patiently for Michael to continue, trying her best to understand what Michael did wrong. Michael the said something, but Christine couldn’t really hear him, it was more of a mumble than anything.

“What was that,” Christine prompted earnestly. She heard a sigh and then Michael shifting in her bed.

“I, I kissed him?” It was a question more than a statement, quiet and hesitant and Michael sounded so _scared_ . And suddenly, everything made sense, in a weird sort of way. The very vague text Rich had sent not even ten minutes earlier, why Michael sounded so scared, why Michael _looked_ so scared, everything had a painful clarity to Christine, and she had no idea how to go about it. She needed to reassure Michael, let him know that things would be fine with Jeremy because if she had this right, she knew that it would all work out eventually. She knew Jeremy and Michael both incredibly well (Was this why she was called the mom friend constantly?) and she had no doubts that Jeremy felt the same way Michael did, in the romantic sense and in the ‘oh my god I totally just fucked up’ sense. She just needed to tell Michael that without _actually_ telling him how Jeremy actually felt.

“Michael,” She started calmly, “I am sure that this won’t change things with Jeremy,” Michael shot up, about to protest, but Christine continued anyway, “I know how terrified you are, and I know that this won’t make seem like it now but just,” Christine stopped, thinking long and hard about how to correctly word her next statement, “Things will work themselves out. I recommend just, talk to him? And I know how terrifying that sounds but just, trust me.” Michael searched her face, and he was quiet for a few minutes. He seemed to be really thinking about what she’d said, and eventually, he gave her a tentative smile.

“What would I ever do without you, Christine,” He said softly, lovingly. Christine smiled brightly at him, her heart swelling.

“Not entirely sure,” she said with a laugh, “Now let's eat this popcorn and watch The Greatest Showman because I bought the digital copy and you still haven’t seen it, and the whole thing is an absolute bop,” Michael gave her a small laugh and a lopsided smile.

“Alright then, let’s see it.”

* * *

 

Jeremy was conflicted. He wanted so desperately to rid himself of this dumb newfound hope. Rich had told him that Michael hadn’t meant nothing by the kiss, but He never said it meant anything either, and Jeremy’s dumb brain decided to fill in the blanks with his own dumb fantasies, which was probably a horrible idea. Jeremy knew what he wanted to do, he _wanted_ to tell Michael the truth, but the logical side of his brain was telling him to hold up, think it through and don’t do that. Though, when did he ever listen to logic, honestly? Since Jeremy obviously couldn’t make up his mind, he decided to call Rich about it.

He was home at Jake's house alone while Rich and Jake went to school. It was Thursday now, and Jeremy really should have been at school, but he’d been too drained to go for a few days now, and he _might_ have been avoiding Michael for as long as he could. Just maybe (he was, definitely). But also, Jeremy had been pointedly ignoring any and every text from his dad (Per Jake’s demands, because he was super worried about Jeremy, and sympathised with him) and was practically bathing in Mountain Dew red (Per Rich’s demands, who almost made him _actually_ take a bath in the stuff after a particularly bad incident including a panic attack and lots of involuntarily fighting). Jeremy had woken up at 9am this morning and it was about 12 now and Jeremy was sure Rich was at lunch, so he called his friend and hoped that Rich would pick up.

“Waddup Nerd, have a nice rest?” There was a lot of background noise and Jeremy could just make out his friends’ voices. Jeremy chuckled, expecting nothing less from Rich.

“Hey, uh, so I’ve been thinking.”

“A horrible pastime, really,” Rich said it in the tune of the Beauty and the Beast song, and Jeremy smiled unintentionally.

“I know,” he sung, continuing the line with a giggle, “But like, seriously, I need advice.” He heard shuffling on the other end and the sound died down significantly after a few minutes. “Rich?”

“Sorry, I was moving to somewhere quieter,” Rich explained truthfully, “You sounded serious and if you’re going to talk about what I think you're going to, I want to be away from the group.” Jeremy smiled softly at this.

“Wow, thank you,” Jeremy said with sincerity. Rich snorted.

“No problem, nerd, now what’s up,” Jeremy sighed.

“I kinda want to tell Michael? Like, about my feelings? Which is probably an absolutely horrible idea, really, and actually, now that I’m thinking about it I shouldn’t even-”

“Alright, I’m going to stop you right there,” Rich cut him off abruptly, “What makes you think this is such a bad idea?” Jeremy laughed despite everything.

“Um,” He started, amusement in his voice to hide the fear, “Because it would literally end my friendship with Michael? Because he would never like me?” Jeremy said it like it was obvious, but Rich, apparently, thought otherwise.

“Jeremy,” Rich said seriously, “Look, okay, I wanted you to figure this out on your own,” Jeremy could _hear_ Rich pinching the bridge of his nose, “But, fuck it. You’re too oblivious for that, apparently. Jeremy, I’m pretty fucking sure Michael is in _love_ with you. Actually, I’m certain he is.” Jeremy sucked in his breath. He had not been expecting that at all, and no matter how much he wanted to believe that-

“Rich, I know that isn’t true I’m not lucky enough for that.” Rich let out an exasperated sigh.

“Jeremy, you know how after the play you were in a coma for like three days?” Jeremy was surprised by the question but answered anyways.

“I mean not really since I was in a coma for three days,” Rich sighed and Jeremy laughed lightly, “But I’ve heard about it, yeah. How come?”

“Because for those three days I was awake, not allowed to move, staring straight at you. For three days, I had to watch _Michael fucking Mell_ fuss over you and stare at you longingly, lovingly, and sadly. It was quite disgusting if I’m being honest. But that’s beside the point. Michael sat with you for those three days and had the most longing expression on his face. That’s love bitch.” Jeremy made a strange sound that he couldn’t really begin to describe.

“Okay but feelings can change and, honestly, this week has had the potential to change them.” Jeremy thinks back to Monday at lunch when his biggest problem at that moment was his crush on Michael. It seemed like eons ago now, not four days ago.

“Jeremy, oh my god,” Rich sounded more like he was talking to himself, “I am literally telling you that your best friend, that you really like, mind you, is in love with you, and you still tell me he isn’t? Do you need more proof or something? Cause I can give that to you.” When Jeremy stayed silent, Rich took it as a yes and kept talking, “Okay, well, first of all, he bought you lunch on Tuesday and honestly, we both know Michael doesn’t like sharing any sort of food. He looked after you after your bitch of a Mother decided to make an entrance into your life, he comforted you after the SQUIP also made an entrance into your life again, He’s technically still supposed to be letting you stay at his house for a whole week, which not many people would do, honestly.He constantly looks at you with actual hearts for eyes, if you hadn’t already noticed, and that was all just from this week! I could also mention the fact that Michael still cares about you after Halloween last year,” Jeremy feels himself flinch involuntarily at the mention of Halloween, “I could also talk about all the times _before_ I even actually became friends with you two, when I saw you pass in the halls, or during English class when Michael would blush whenever you brushed his hand or when you got too close. _That_ is love, bitch. Jeremy,” Rich sighed, almost thoughtfully, “Do that boy a favor and just ask him out. He’s been worried sick about you all week, by the way,” Rich added, almost like an afterthought, “He asks me almost every day how you are and if you’ll be coming back soon. I told him you’ll be coming to Christine’s thing tomorrow, so, you’ll see him then.” Jeremy had to sit there for a few minutes in stunned silence. This was a lot, to say the least. “Did I break you?” Rich sounded joking but Jeremy could hear the worried undertones in his voice.

“No, no, I’m fine just,” Jeremy laughed almost incredulously, “Processing.” Jeremy felt how warm his face was now and how fast his heart was beating and, holy fuck, he was actually starting to understand that asking out Michael is an okay thing to do. God, this terrified him, but now he just needed a game plan.

“Thanks, Rich. I uh, I needed this. Now, go back to lunch before people start asking questions.” Rich laughed at the other end of the line.

“Alright, Jeremy, I’ll see you after school, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

* * *

 

Michael was sitting next to Christine at the lunch table staring at the empty seat next to him that Jeremy would usually occupy. He hadn’t seen Jeremy since Tuesday night, since The Incident, he’s started calling it, and he was starting to seriously worry. Rich kept telling him that Jeremy was fine but Michael had his doubts.

“Michael, you’re going to burn a hole through the chair if you keep staring like that,” He heard Jenna say across from him, “I’m sure Jeremy’s fine, wherever he is,” Jenna smiled at him and Michael smiled wearily back. The rest of the group didn’t actually know what was going on, which Michael felt slightly bad about, but he knew it was for the best.

“Yeah, I know, I’m just,”

“Worried,” Chloe finished for him, not unkindly. Michael nodded sheepishly.

“Jenna’s right,” Brooke said sweetly, “Jeremy will be fine, it’s only been two days.” Michael nodded, but he knew. He knew these two days could mean a lot for his best friend. This was Jeremy they were talking about, Jeremy, who overthinks, Jeremy, who was dealing with SQUIPS and horrible moms and best friend’s mistakes, Jeremy, who-

“Michael,” Christine spoke softly, “You good?” Michael smiled weakly at her. He seemed to be doing that a lot, smiling smiles that weren’t quite as genuine.

“I guess I’m just… I don’t know. I want to talk to him, but I want to avoid him as long as I can at the same time.” Christine nodded and rubbed circles on the back of his hand soothingly.

“Yeah, I get that. But you’ve gotta think about,” Christine said cheerily, “You’ll see him tomorrow night at the movie night. You’ll have all night to talk to him then!” Michael looked at her, face unsure.

“That sounds… Too soon.”

“Michael,” Christine sounded exasperated but still friendly, ‘Things will work themselves out, don’t worry too much.”

“Hey guys, I’m back! Miss me,” Rich sauntered over to their lunch table with a smile on his face. He made eye contact with Christine for a few seconds, a silent conversation seeming to pass between them, and then his eyes landed on Michael. They didn’t linger long, but it still made Michael curious.

“I’m sure Jake did,” Christine said with a laugh, making a face at Jake. Jake, in retaliation, stuck his tongue out at her, like a true adult. Rich laughed at this and took his seat next to Jake, instantly intertwining their hands and pressed a small kiss on the taller boys cheek, making him blush. Almost everyone at the table rolled their eyes in unison at the display of affection. Ever since they got together, they wouldn’t stop being… hands-on with each other.

“Why’d you leave,” Michael asked calmly, curiosity getting the better of him. Rich smiled suddenly and flashed Christine another look.

“Oh, just on the phone with Jeremy. I couldn’t hear him over all the noise and stuff.” Rich shrugged and whipped out his phone, starting to scroll through things. Michael thought for a moment, wondering why on earth Jeremy would call Rich. Before he could dismiss the thought, Christine’s phone buzzed in her hand and she took it out to see the notification. Apparently, it was important, because as soon as she saw whatever it was, she instantly unlocked her phone and read whatever was there eagerly. The gasped after a moment and her eyes tore away from her phone and looked at Rich, excitement evident on her face.

_What the hell…?_

* * *

 

Rich casually typed up the text on his phone, trying his best not to look as excited as he felt.

**Bi Bi Bi**

Talked to jer, operation Idiots is a go, he’s asking michael out tomorrow i think

**Chrissamin Roll**

!!!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey uhhhhh, yall this fic has 2000 kudos?? Heck? When I wrote this fic, I never intended for it to get this much attention! I've goten so much love for this fic and it's so sweet and amazing? I've actually like,,, never finished a multi-chapter fic ever so this is honestly so cool to be able to get this far in it and have it get so much attention? Plus, this fic has gone in such a diffrent direction than ever intended. So, like, thank you all sm for reading it. This fic has definetly improved my writing skills and i'm so happy that you have all liked it so much <3  
> Side note(S)-  
> -I totally put a Hamilton reference in this chapter  
> -I am going to make a sequel type thing for this book titled "Thing that I love but didn't make the cut" and it will just consist off all the ideas and 'cut scenes' that I wanted to incorporate but couldn't  
> -I totally HAVEN'T started 2 new fics in my goole docs that I plan on uploading (One is boyfs the other is,,,,, irrelevant to yall)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked this! I appreciate any kudos/comments because this fic is like my child please give it love  
> Thanks for reading!  
> My tumblr: https://spaceboy-tobi.tumblr.com/  
> My Instagram: @aceof.artss (art account), @Spacekid.tobi (Spam account)


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